Long Distance Lobsters: Tea Party!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Tea Party!

For as long as I can remember, I dreamed of the day when I would have little boys of my own. Not feeling my self to be much of a girly-girl, for much of my life, I felt more comfortable around guys and felt like I would be a good mother to little guys myself. And perhaps, someday I will be, who knows. Point is, when I went in for my first ultrasound with my San Diego OBGYN, I was explicitly told I would not be learning the sex of my baby. But when the doctor was having her look, she asked if I would like to know. Manny and I pretty much gasped, and nervously nodded our heads, unprepared. The doctor poked around this way and that and from multiple angles. She saw clues of a little baby boy. All of the sudden, I started to cry. And they were not happy tears.

When it came down to the moment of truth, I was shockingly heartbroken at the thought of not having a little girl, and this blew me away. Contrary to my supposed life-long hopes, I was devastated at the possibility that I might miss out on two things mainly, reading Little Women and having tea parties. Of course those things shouldn't have to be excluded from little boys' upbringing, but I think it symbolized something of a package that I knew and loved from my own childhood that wouldn't be passed on in quite the same way to a son. It turned out the doctor wasn't entirely sure, and when we did have the official look a couple weeks later, the techs were certain it was a girl, and I was absolutely thrilled. (of course, I'm still holding out a bit of hope to have a boy too, but I've learned how happy I will be with either)

I've actually already pulled Alcott out, but Sofia will absolutely not sit still for such picture-less monotony, . . . yet. And this summer, my grandmother gifted me with my first ever sets of china, some for me, and a tiny little set for Sofia. But she's still not quite gentle and skilled enough yet for me to trust her with those either. So I had been waiting. Loving my little girl, who is girlier than I've ever been. Not that these should be considered the essence of femininity, but she loves credit cards and shoes and dressing up.

But at thirteen months, my waiting saw its first end. Some friends wanted to play, and I had the challenge of figuring out how to entertain four girls, ages 7, 3, 2, and 1. All our toys are one-year-old oriented, with some perhaps appropriate up to three, but I didn't want the seven year old to feel so bored and left out. So what did we do? We hosted Sofia's first ever tea party! Our guests were experts. So polite and gracious and willing to try new things, like cucumber sandwiches and cream on berries! They even brought along some more child-proof drinking receptacles to reduce Mama's anxieties. They all played beautifully and sweetly together while the other Mama and I got to enjoy our own lovely conversation and it was more fun than I could have dreamed.