Dear Zoe,

Some random facts about my life recently that haven't naturally popped up in our email conversations:

• For the past five nights, Eiley and I have been reading Charlotte's Web together. We lay on a blanket on the floor in her nursery. I hold the book over our heads and read while she scratches at the pages with her chubby little hands. She usually loses focus after a chapter, and then we'll sing or play with her stuffed elephant. It's fun.
• Jeff and I are incapable of keeping plants alive, so we purchased pink flamingos to plant in our flower pots in the backyard. We thought they'd look cute and kitschy, but instead they look ridiculous. Also, their beak paint is coming off, so we've resigned ourselves to the fact that we can't even keep plastic lawn ornaments alive. 
• We are getting a new fence in the backyard. This excites me for some reason. It's white, but not picket.
• I have been reading a lot, but I purchase my books exclusively from Goodwill and I always judge them by their covers. This recently backfired. I bought a bright blue book with its cute title, jennifer johnson is sick of being single, in all lower case letters and adorned with a photo of a delightfully vintage doll. I read about half of it, then finally quit because it was too crass and had a woefully cliche gay best friend character. Seriously, I started wondering if the author was writing a satire on romantic comedies because the gay best friend was so typical. Blah. Give me originality, people. But I will continue to judge books by covers because it works 93% of the time for me.

Wouldn't you want to read it?

• I am ashamed to tell you that I watch the Lifetime original series Drop Dead Diva. Seriously, its cheesiness makes me cringe at least once per episode. Super guilty pleasure. I am, however, proud to tell you that I watched an episode today with a clown in it, and I didn't freak out. This is mostly because I quickly figured out that the clown was Barry Watson from Seventh Heaven and Samantha Who?, but still. Go me.
• My sister is an amazing aunt. Like...amazing. It makes me feel all warm and gooey inside when I see how much she loves my little girl. And I'm so freaking grateful that she actually enjoys babysitting (or is a darn good actress and pretends to enjoy it well enough that we're comfortable asking her to do it). We have had a play that we've wanted to see for the past three weekends, and she's been a rock of dependability. 
• Have you ever played Bananagrams? I think I've already mentioned this recently, but I'll say it again - it's my new favorite game. 
• We lost our diaper bag. It just disappeared, no explanation. Jeff thinks he might have left it on the back of the car by accident last week, but he's not sure. I personally think that diaper bag elves came and ate it. Either way, it wasn't a huge loss, though I really really liked the bag itself and it did have a couple of items that we'll miss in it.
• So on Halloween, we went to a Christian swingers party. I'll let that sink in for a bit before I explain...Okay, so the "swinging" was just that we dressed up as couples with other people's spouses. It all started when Arabella wanted to be Mary Todd Lincoln for Halloween, but her husband doesn't look nearly as much as Abe as Jeff does. Six couples participated. It was pretty hilarious. I was Olive Oyl, and Arabella's husband was Popeye. A good (clean) time was had by all. 

Also, I made his hat. Also, Arab has a lock of her husband's hair in that brooch. Seriously. She committed to her historical character, who happened to be bat [bleep] crazy.

That's all for now. Update complete. End scene. Lahve!