Reader Topic Request: Wedgies

I recently asked for topic suggestions via facebook, and the first one I received was wedgies. This came from Edwin, a friend of mine from church. He recently turned 34 and is obviously very mature for his age. For reals though, he and his wife Stefanie are wonderful, generous people who have consistently modeled servant hearts, so it's my pleasure to fulfill his request. Hence, my thoughts on wedgies:


1. Wedgies are uncomfortable. I had one for a solid hour when I was pregnant a couple of months ago, and the wedgie successfully kept my mind off of the giant watermelon I was lugging in front of me. Since I was so heavy, I couldn't dislodge the wedge discreetly in the car, so I'm sure someone in the parking lot at Panera had quite the visual that day. I mean, I looked around to make sure no one was watching, but I'm sure I could have just missed someone.
2. Wedgie is a funny word. 
3. I know a guy who has a perma-wedgie. Seriously, he turns around and I feel like I can see him clenching. And it's not like I just go around staring at this person's butt. He's an actor, and his perma-wedgie has been on stage in the spotlight many times. It's distracting. And I will never tell who it is so don't ask, thankyouverymuch.
4. In the movies, bullies often dole out wedgies to nerds. I find this hard to believe since I would think that any bullying that involves underwear would eventually also involve lawyers these days.
5. Wedgies are interesting because you can't tell from the front if someone has one or not. Let's examine:

See? Edwin may or may not have a wedgie in this picture.
The world will never know.

The end.