Monday, January 2, 2012

Movie Review Monday #33: Half of Rise of the Planet of the Apes

A few nights ago, Jeff's family gathered around to watch Rise of the Planet of the Apes, because nothing puts you in the holiday spirit more than a film about experimenting on monkeys. I had to feed Eiley and put her to sleep, so I missed about 20 minutes at the beginning. And then I was working on a crossword, so I missed another 20 minutes. And then the film was only an hour and a half, so it turns out I missed most of it. Thoughts:


1. James Franco, you just always look high.
2. I can't even handle people being cruel to CGI animals. Seriously, that's why I started the crossword. I was getting too stressed out. My family can attest to the fact that I don't handle films with hurting animals well. We've tried to avoid those since the Turner and Hooch fiasco of '89.
3. I realize that I missed most of the film, but it seemed to end abruptly. Just when I had settled into it, it was like...BLAM. Credits.
4. To be fair, there was then a little more film during the credits. But it was still all very sudden.
5. CGI baby monkeys are freaking adorable.
AWWWWW.
6. So, spoiler alert: The ape grows up and says, "Caesar is home" at the end of the film. So, yes, it's very impressive that the ape learned to speak and everything, but why would he use the third person? He's only been around English speakers, so if this is the first time he's communicating aloud in any language, you'd think he'd get it right: "I am home." Why must filmmakers always push poor grammar on simians? (I'd like to apologize to the monkeys of the Madagascar franchise. You are notable exceptions and speak beautiful English.)
7. Tom Felton [Draco Malfoy] is getting himself stuck in a "bad guy who is simultaneously a huge coward" niche. What an odd thing to be good at.


In conclusion, I give this half a claw up.

No comments:

Post a Comment