Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Response to "resolution'd"

Like Emily, I'm not much for resolutions, but I am into goals, and like to have a sense of a goal for the year at the start. But last year, with a January 2nd due date, and no previous experience with motherhood, I felt it was wisest to be wide open to what the year had to bring us. That peaceful openness worked out great for 2011. But as 2011 came to a close, I found myself in a state of confused frazzledness. The best I can do goal-wise this new year, is hope to get to a place where I can formulate a goal next year. Best of luck 2013!

Emily is somehow managing early motherhood, full time work, and a discerning ambition for the year to come. I think she deserves a massive round of applause, and then an admission that she can not possibly be duly honored for the amazing things she does for her family, all the while keeping all of us entertained through this blog. Hats off to you, my lobster-for-life!

If you didn't catch her post about her resolution, go read it here. I found the second article she linked to particularly valuable. While it was a fully secular post, I think it points beautifully to the gift that God designed for us in Sabbath, a discipline I am always yearning to hone more fully. Part of what I heard Emily longing for was an ability to be more present with her daughter, but another part I was hearing was her need to be recharged. I completely identify with BOTH parts, even though my day to day looks rather different. So, while I'm still trying to figure these things out just as much as Emily, I have found a few activities that help me, personally, to feel recharged while also feeling like I am giving presence, attention, stimulation and love to my daughter. So I thought I'd just pass them along to Emily, but publicly, in case the tip could help you, but also so you can help us add to this list.

How I recharge while providing presence to Sofia:

1) Sing along to music

Emily already mentioned music as a good idea. What she wouldn't have mentioned is how awesome her singing voice is. I have an adequate [by certain standards at least] singing voice, and Sofia is absolutely enthralled, no matter how silly the song I make up for her. I love singing, it brings me relaxation and joy. Getting all those benefits AND Sofia's lit up little face is a true treat. We both get relaxed, filled with joy, and more in tune with each other. So I recommend that while you are playing music, that you sing along, pretty soon, Eiley will be trying to join in and its only one step away from the awesome family band I have envisioned for the Fazakerleys!

2) Take walks

I have been to the gym exactly one time in the entire first year (and some odd days) of Sofia's life. That's no good, but I do walk almost every single day, sometimes twice. The walk gets me out of the house, it provides us with fresh air, it calms us both down, it gets me uncaught from the interwebs, it provides us both with visual stimulation, gives me things to talk to Sofia about when I've run out of words or patience, and it often has me running into other human beings that we can talk to, which is also helpful and leads me to my last point.

3) Playdates even with friends

You might think this requires having friends with kids the same age as yours and with your child's same nap schedule, but it doesn't. When I lived in San Diego, my closest friend was Lexie, who did not have any children. Still, she came over and we did a bible study together or took walks, she held and played with Sofia, and we got to talk and it was SOooo good for me. Here in Brunswick, we have found a few good peers for playdates, but Sofia also really loves hanging out with mom/kid combos where the kid is a couple years older than her. Sofia gets to feel cool by association-to-older-kid, and I get lots of advice about what to look forward to/prepare for in the years to come.

To the other Lobster Mamas out there, what other ways have you found to recharge yourself so that you can better love your family?

2 comments:

  1. First, let me say that Zoe has a beautiful singing voice... becoming more so every day!
    Besides the aforementioned outdoor walks, may fav form of relaxation is cooking. My love language, right? Maybe that's why it relaxes me! Grab some plastic bowls, some healthy (albeit messy) staples, and strip down your little cherub for some good clean fun.

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  2. I love these suggestions! Thanks so much! And I agree, Dana. Zoe has a lovely singing voice.

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