Friday, July 1, 2011

Pulchritudinous Places #2: Disneyland

You may have already gathered from a portion of my Father's Day post that I love Disneyland. This is half because I have oodles of happy memories associated with the place and half because it is just awesome. Things I love about Disneyland:


1. Rides. They're not as exhilarating as what some other parks offer, but they are significantly more magical. Favorites: Space Mountain - galactic lighting and a fun soundtrack make me feel like I'm in a 70s Sci-Fi show (in a good way). I've always longed to see this ride with the lights on. Maybe someday. Sigh. Splash Mountain - When I was in middle school, my cousin and I rode Splash Mountain five times in a row and we were completely drenched by the time we returned to our families. So fun. Plus I love the story, even though the characters vaguely promote racism.
2. Ambiance. Depending on where you are in the park, Disneyland sounds like polka, excited children, happy squeals and screams, calypso, fake birds, real birds, ragtime piano, whiny children, trolley bells, bluegrass, splashing, and automated ride instructions ("Permanecer sentados, por favor"). It smells like waffle cones, chlorine, barbecue, popcorn, water on hot cement, cows, churros, and faint cigarettes. It looks colorful, pristine, cheery, impressive. It tastes like chicken tenders, because that's all I tend to get there. And it feels like home.
3. People watching. Everyone goes to Disneyland. Sullen, gothic teens, families, large groups of Chinese tourists, couples on honeymoons, college friends, nerds, cool kids, rich people, poor people who have scraped and saved for this special day. Everyone. I could sit on a bench for hours watching a sampling of the world pass by. One time my dad and I sat on Main Street for about a half hour. A trolley horse had pooped, and we watched everyone react. It was hilarious. Mothers dramatically pulled their children away. Teens pointed at it like it was a science project gone wrong. For a while, a pile of poop was the star of Main Street. Humans are fascinating.
4. Shows. Fireworks set to cheesy inspirational music! Movies projected onto walls of water! Neon monkeys dancing on boats! Snow (okay, soap suds that only kind of look like snow) in Southern California! 3D Michael Jackson saving the world from scary Anjelica Huston through the power of music, dance, and a rainbow shirt! Billy, Billy, Billy, and Billy! 
Billys!
5. Exercise. Okay, I pretty much covered everything in the last four points, but I hate even numbered lists, with the exception of a solid top ten. Therefore, my ridiculous number five is that you get a lot of exercise walking around Disneyland without really feeling like you're exercising. Cool, right? Yeah.


In conclusion, Disneyland is awesome and you should go to there. 

2 comments:

  1. AMEN to billy hill and the hillbillies!! That is by far my fave show. And now i'm craving a dole whip... Thanks a lot! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. You nailed it on disneyland! But the thing that I miss most is you. How about a date next time you're in california?

    ReplyDelete