ANNIVERSARY HAPPINESS!

Hey Jeff,


So I was going to write a post full of pictures of ALL the things we did together last year, but I honestly didn't know where to start. It's just been too much. I think we are crazy people if I reflect too hard. But, like, the good kind of crazy people. Cray cray. Holler. You know. 


Anyway, here are a few highlights:


1. We had a baby. Well, I had the baby, but you were there the whole time even though you hadn't slept. You're the most amazing dad, but still an amazing husband at the same time.

2. We survived your thesis. We survived you writing it, we survived you rehearsing it, and more importantly, my attraction to you survived even after seeing your performance.

Photo by David Polston

3. We graduated from Regent. Well, you did the graduating, but I was there the whole time you were in school. I'm taking 7% of the credit. I'm so proud of your accomplishment and proud that we worked hard to stay connected even when you were the busiest person out of all the people.

Photo by big brother

4. We endured Virginia 2011: Dismal Swamp Fire, Earthquake, and Hurricane Irene all in two weeks. And we had fun through it all, imagine that.


5. We persevered through our second cross country move, this time with an infant and a dog. This should be super stressful, but it was only stressful for that one hour at the airport. You know what I'm talking about. [Shakes fist at United/Delta/Continental Cargo dudes.]

Back at Disneyland, where we belong.

These are just highlights - we've had so much fun, grown so much, and changed together. And you're still my very favorite. I love you so! Happy Fourth Anniversary!

Reproduction

The other day, I received this text:


"Ur going 2 b a mommy again."


My heart stopped. Then it raced. Then it stopped again. "Say whaaaaat?!?" 


It was from my father-in-law. I couldn't think how he would know I was pregnant before me. Then I thought, 


"Well, he is quite a spiritual person. He has verrrry vivid dreams. Does he think he heard a prophetic word from God or something?" 


I had just been thinking about how unready I was for another kid right now the day before this text. Did Dad-in-law know my heart? Was he speaking into my insecurities and sending me a word of assurance? It just didn't quite add up.


I decided that he must have sent the text to me accidentally. He meant it for someone else. Let's face it, it's pretty impressive to have a father-in-law that texts at all, mis-dialing happens. Or maybe he meant to say "aunt" not "mommy." He has three other kids, and nine other grand-kids, someone is always multiplying. That must be it. 


But was it?? It was really eating away at me. The text had arrived while I was putting Sofia to bed, so as soon as she was down, I gave him a call to get to the bottom of this anxiety provoking mystery. 


"Hey, Leo"


"Oh hey. Did you get my text?"


"Yeeeeesssss. What exactly did that mean?"


"You're going to be a mommy again."


??


"What do you mean by that Leo? Is there something you know that I don't??"


"Your avocado trees. They have fruit!"


Ooooooooooohhhhh! 


"Ooh! Wow!!! No way!"


Nearly nine years ago, I ate a handful of avocados while living in a cottage on campus. I stuck toothpicks in the pits, and hung them over water. My great aunt, Beth, told me you could grow avocado trees this way when I was in fourth grade, and I'd been trying ever since then. Much to my surprise, a life long dream came true and a few of them actually started growing roots. After caring for them for about a year, a few of them actually turned into trees. I moved out of the cottage, into a duplex, and transplanted my trees into some soil, fully expecting to kill them at any time. But somehow, three of them survived past my time at that residence. When I got married and knew I'd be moving into an apartment where I could no longer keep them, my new in-laws agreed to adopt my little babies and allow me generous visitation rights. 


For seven years, my amazing gardner of a father-in-law has cared for my trees, transfered them into larger pots as they've grown, pruned them every year. He asked everyone he could, all kinds of experts at several nurseries about their potential for bearing fruit. Everyone told us that they wouldn't bear fruit unless they were grafted, and even then, it wasn't guaranteed, and even if they did, it would take at least 5-6 years. NINE years later, no grafting, they are bearing fruit. It's a miracle! 


I think that the seeds were my babies, and their fruit will more appropriately be considered my grand-babies. So, I'm a grandmother! Yay!


When I told Manny the story, he said, 


"Wow! I helped change the water on those plants when they were just seeds. I changed your trees' diapers!" 


Indeed. 

Who is God?

Recently Sofia learned how to say, "God." She clasps her little hands together in prayer and speaks his name whenever we pray together as a family. Don't I sound like a model Christian parent right now? As cute as this sounds and as proud as I am that she prays to God with us as a family, throughout the rest of the day it's clear the concept of God is more complex than a 17-month-old can really understand, or at least more complex than I know how to explain just yet.

For example I was singing her a song just now. I asked her what song she would like for me to sing next. Her response, "God." Then we started to walk downstairs and talk about Daddy. I asked her if she knew where her Daddy had gone, the correct answer would have been "work," a word she was just learning. Sofia responded, "God." After this we walked to the front door to check the mail and I asked her, "What do you think we got in the mail today, Sofia?" You guessed it. Her response was, "God."

So to Sofia, "God" is a song, He is a place, and He is something that the United States Postal Service carries from one place to another. I've heard the saying "out of the mouth of babes," to refer to the surprisingly insightful things children can come up with. But I've yet to find the theological profundity in what Sofia has shared with me thus far.

I think instead I have some work to do to try to explain to her who God is. And how do I explain that someone she cannot see is someone who is with us each and every day, created all of us and everything we see, someone that loves us and that we can love in return? I guess I have to admit that He is more complex than even I can truly understand. And maybe that is a worthwhile theological lesson that my little babe has taught me.

Theology just got 10 times more complicated.

Movie Review Monday #50: The Avengers (emily edition)

Zoe, I came on here to write a review of The Avengers, and I saw you had already done that! Well, I thought I'd share my two cents as well. Thoughts:

1. Between Katniss (Hunger Games), Merida (Brave), and Hawk Eye (The Avengers, obviously), archery is so in right now. This makes me happy. I especially enjoyed Hawk Eye's moment shooting blindly off to the right and hitting his target. Jeremy Renner is such an unexpectedly awesome action hero, and I look forward to his upcoming Bourne series, even though Matt Damon will always be tops in my book.

2. I loved Heidi Moneymaker's performance. Oh, you've never heard of her? Yeah, she was Scarlett Johansson's stunt double. Some of her fight scenes were so delightfully improbable and simultaneously exhilarating that I giggled with joy. Scarlett was okay in some of her scenes too I guess.

3. The mix of explosions, aliens, lore, and humor was delightful. It was truly impressive that they were able to get at all in depth in the backgrounds of the heroes while also telling a story. Sure, it wasn't a terribly original story, but there was a story. And those explosions I mentioned were freaking awesome. 

4. So Ashley Johnson played the waitress in this film, and I got super distracted by that. She was basically a featured extra, but she's so recognizable that I felt like she must have had a larger role and her scenes got cut. Did anyone else get sidetracked by seeing her?

5. Most importantly, this film was written and directed by Joss Whedon. Joss, if you are reading this, I want you to know that I am not a bandwagon Joss follower. I have loved your work since I was 9 years old and watching Buffy. I have faithfully watched nearly all of your work, and I will continue to do so. After a particularly flowery dialogue between Thor and Loci, I thought "Joss is surely going to mock their way of speaking," and not minutes later, Iron Man says "Shakespeare in the Park? Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?" It wasn't a predictable line, but I felt like I was hanging out with a friend and had an idea of the type of joke he'd make. Also, Joss, if you are reading this please tell me so I can completely freak out.

In conclusion, I too give The Avengers two claws up. That's a total of four claws with Zoe's added in. Go see The Avengers! (Who am I kidding? I think Zoe, Manny, Jeff and I were the last four people to see that film. I honestly wanted to explain myself to the ticket seller when we went to see it.)

Movie Review Monday #50: The Avengers

After an 11 month unintentional theater-fast, Manny and I got in front of the big screen today to see The Avengers to celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary. Huge thanks to our friends, Laura, Mike, and Charlie for keeping Sofia entertained with some rainy day couch-tunnels and train sets so we could enjoy lots of crescendos on a big screen that would have otherwise been severely downplayed and practically ruined on our home TV, trying to keep Sofia asleep, several months from now. Netflix, you're great, but you can only do so much for us.

image borrowed from here

The Prerequisites:

A small glimpse of the upcoming Avengers long ago was enough to convince me to see both Captain America and Thor when I wouldn't have otherwise. Sadly, after seeing those movies, I lost a bit of steam and interest in seeing The Avengers. But having seen them all, I will say Thor provided a surprisingly foundational backdrop to The Avengers, so even though the movie experience was a bit disappointing, and in fact sleep inducing, I was glad to have the background. Captain America was a fine movie, but they give you sufficient hints about his back story within The Avengers that one would be fine without having seen it. Ironman is just great, so essential or not, I'd recommend it, but you've probably already seen it. 

The Experience:

When you get to a place in life where you get to see one, maybe two, movies in a theater (due to your budget, your schedule, your littles), you develop a pretty strict rubric about which movies make the cut. For me, that rubric includes: 

1) I have to feel pretty certain I'll enjoy the film 

2) Its strengths should include elements I can not enjoy at home. 

So for me, this mostly boils down to explosive action films that have promising character development. [as of today, the new Batman film has joined the list of must-see's, I'd welcome any baby-sitting volunteers now! :) ] Granted, I only just got home from watching it, and I'm inappropriately hopped up an indecent quantity of pop-corn, soda, and candy that are usually exempt from my diet, but I would say The Avengers fit the bill on this score. The booming crescendos that had me jumping and nearly shouting at someone to turn the volume down so as not to wake my child that I kept forgetting was miles away. On top of the great action and sound, the pleasant surprise was how much it made me laugh, which was perhaps what I needed most out of a movie going experience today. Robert Downey Jr. just cracks me up. He's come a long way since I developed a crush on him in Only You. [don't tell Manny ;) ]

I will say plenty of the dialogue was thoroughly predictable. But I felt like I could anticipate what characters would say because they were developed so clearly. And when they did execute expected lines, it wasn't dissatisfying, it was just a moment well completed. 

The Characters

I loved Gwyneth Paltrow's character here even more than I've been loving her in Ironman. Her appearance is unfortunately brief, but she seems appropriately aged and yet still strong, impressive, and elegant, all within a committed relationship. Such a respectable female portrayal felt like a rare treat. 

I read elsewhere that one of the strengths of this film was that the writers/directors did a good job of bringing several characters together for one flick while still developing their unique personalities sufficiently well so as not to lose the strong story. I would agree and add that I think this was accomplished by hitting on the Achilles' heel of each hero, not shortchanging the complexity of each character, but instead using their weaknesses to propel the story towards tapping into truth and giving them all (and thereby us) opportunity for transformation through the experience.

Perhaps one of the best portrayed weaknesses of the heroes was how suited they were to having their own spotlight, and therefore how difficult it was to "play well with others." They played this off through several character conflicts, but my favorite might have been between Ironman and Captain America. Captain America was trapped in ice for seventy years, so while he's decades the senior to Ironman, he looks much younger. I appreciated the wise elder role they allowed the Captain to play in the team, how they played off of Ironman's playboy contrast, and how they two ended up complimenting each other in the end: Ironman learning about sacrifice and following the Captain's leadership. We can certainly use more encouragement towards humility and respecting our elders. 

The Follow Up:

I would definitely watch another Avengers movie. But equally intriguing to me are the prospects of a movie with Black Widow and Hawk Eye so I can have a better sense of their back story. Interest piqued, Marvel, well done. 

To The Avengers, two claws up! 

To my husband, Happy 7th Anniversary. You're my hero. ;)

Flashback! the twenty-second.

11/10/04

Darling Emily Grace,

I'm sorry for being too controlling over our B3 dinner, I'm sorry for not keeping in better touch with you through last school year, I'm sorry for not supporting you in your R.A.ship more, I'm sorry for not calling you more often for bed-time stories, I'm sorry for everything bad I've ever said about your ex, I'm sorry for not praying for you more, I'm sorry for not praying for your ex more, I'm sorry for every other blunder I made that I'm sure I'm foolishly blind to. I don't deserve your friendship that is so persevering, so patient, so selfless, so fun.

I love you so much. I miss you so much. And I love you so much.

Your roomie for life,

zoe faith stewart

11/11/04

Zoe-

Forgive you?! You have been an amazing friend.

i love you and am so thankful for your constant friendship.

i know i keep telling you this, but i am just a million times thankful for your friendship.

love love love,

pyg

p.s. joss stone's new cd is so good. i'm listening to it right now and just thought you should know how good she is. also, i FINALLY heard mindy smith, who you recommended to me a looong time ago, for the first time on the train to florence because jessica had it on her iPod. i really liked her a lot, but i think she put me to sleep with her clear, beautiful voice of an angel :). 

You’ve done it.

Dear Fazakerley's,

Three years ago, you left home, the place you loved and never wanted to leave, and set out on this adventure. Jeff, you stepped out with courage, with aspirations that may have drawn funny looks from some. Emily, you stepped out in faith that Jeff could actually make a go of acting. You both took a big step.

It was a scary step. You weren’t thrilled about leaving California. You weren’t 100% confident in yourself that you could see the program through to completion. But you felt called to this place for a purpose. And you both went.

How does a young married couple get by on one income while paying for grad-school tuition? How does a young husband give of his heart fully on the stage and to his studies, and still preserve his truest love for his wife? How does a young wife weather theater-widowhood, and yet hold onto love and commitment for her living breathing theater-husband?

Overwhelming to some, apparently this was not challenge enough for you, so you invited another pioneer into your mix. You weren’t sure you could do that either, juggle marriage, work, grad-school, AND a newborn baby. But you did it. 

You took time to make birthdays and anniversaries special. You gave your all to your work. You took advantage of opportunities to get away for breaks. You allowed your community in to support and bolster you. You cared for your community in return. You sacrificed for one another. You sacrificed for Eiley. You loved.

You did it all. You accomplished your goal despite unforeseen challenges. You lived and loved well with the time that you had there, as I’m sure many Virginian-friends can attest. And now you’ve flown home to California.

I imagine you’re a bit changed by the journey. You now have an extra degree under your belt, an extra person in your arms, and maybe at least the tiniest bit less of your heart, left behind in Virginia.

And now you face a new challenge of settling back in to a place that is familiar. But you have changed. You may be more changed, Jeff, than when you left Idaho to go to school in California. You may be more changed, Emily, then when you went abroad to Spain. You are more, both in quantity and quality, than when you left.

There will be accommodations to procure, routines to establish, new networks to ease into. My fear is that the newness of the old will keep you from taking a moment to realize all you’ve accomplished. It must be both exciting and scary to be home. But when you get back to In-N-Out, because I knew it would have only take a matter of minutes for you to find you way there, I hope you’ll raise your Diet Coke, forgive it for not being a Diet Pepsi, and give a toast to yourselves, because you’ve done it. You’ve gone there and come back again. You should be so proud.

Jeffrey, congratulations on your graduation.

Emily, congratulations on your good work at Regent, your beautiful superhuman mothering of your daughter, and your selfless support of your husband through this season.

Eiley, congratulations on surviving your first round of grad school.

Fazakerley’s, congratulations on your return home.