Lobsters, meet Emily. Emily, Lobsters.

Howdy Lobsters! I’m Zoe, nice to meet you. Emily, thank you for that amazing introduction, and also, Holy Shnykies! What was I thinking allowing Emily to introduce me first? How am I supposed to follow that act? Fool of a Took, Zoe! Ugh. Ok. I’ll give it my best shot.

Per point 7 re: my curly hair, I would like to write this post as Goldy Locks. Do you find that too many females you meet are overly dramatic or underly interesting (yes I did just make up that word)? Then Lobsters, meet Emily, she is just right!

Emily is active, and yet, not so athletic as to make me feel miserable about my own un-athleticism. She’s great about finding fun ways to exercise, like line dancing to the Cotton Eyed Joe. 

Cotten Eyed Joe at my wedding
From left to right: me, Emily, Erin 

Emily is cool. She’s always in the know about current films/TV/music, she has a mass store of knowledge of pop-culture-gone-by, and for some reason I really want to mention here that she’s completely addicted to Diet Pepsi. She grew up in the OC, in the house of super cool parents, with an amazing talent for retaining knowledge. These three attributes formed a trifecta of cultural relevance. [side note: This post will list five examples about Emily’s just-right-ness as the first of many odes to one of our favorite pop-authors, Nick Hornby, as featured in High Fidelity.] And yet, she has never seen ANY of the Star Wars films, so whenever I start to feel like I am a grandparent by comparison to her teen savvy, I have little things like my familiarity with Ewoks to comfort myself with.

Yeah, that IS Jimmy Fallon kissing Emily on the cheak

Emily is a not-so-girly girl. This is a picture of our floor mates in college, all amazing women, most of whom we’re still in touch with and love dearly. But note the two of us are cowering in the corner, a bit overwhelmed by the overdose of estrogen. And yet, we’ve enjoyed late-night slumber party talks about boys, she was an amazingly supportive bridesmaid, her own wedding was an historic production, she has fantastic decorating skills, we’ve had overlapping pregnancies (boys can’t do that in case you didn’t know) and somehow she is one of the only girls I feel comfortable having a good squeal with (usually followed by laughing at ourselves for our girliness). 

Armington B309 - woot!

Emily is competitive. I’m sure you know this to be a really obnoxious attribute in some people. And yet, while Emily is intense about her competition, she doesn’t let it get in the way of her relationships. For example, she knows better than to play either ping pong or feusball with me. Ping pong because I could not begin to challenge her enough and feusball because she would get too frustrated when I beat her – best to avoid both all together. When we do play games together, she really gets into it, but she never gets mean. Her competitiveness also helps her to set the bar high – see her introduction to me as an example. She’s really good at a whole lot of things: trivia, singing, dancing, reading out loud, mod-podging, event planning, downing diet pepsi’s, catch phrase, spelling/grammar, writing, making people laugh hysterically, just to name a few. She also encourages me to be better at lots of those things by way of inspiration, and that’s a good kind of person to keep around.

Coolest wedding ever, starring Emily as the bride

Last, but not least: Emily is a straight shooter. Some people don’t have the guts to have a friend like this, and I don’t expect Emily is necessarily like this to everyone she meets, but I believe a wise person keeps a friend around who will be honest and direct. You need a person who tells you when your hair is a wreck; who shuts you down when your blog posts start turning into novels; who tells you that you need to work on being a better listener. And yet, Emily embodies her middle name, Grace. When some people give you the hard truth, you never want to encounter them again. When Emily delivers the truth, sometimes it stings, but I know there’s love in it and that I’d be a fool not to hang onto her forever. That’s why, even though we only lived together for one year, she’s my “Roomy for life.”

Zoe and Emily - not letting go

She’s just the right amount of active. She’s just the right amount of cool. She’s just the right amount of girly. She’s just the right amount of excellent. She’s just the right amount of honest. I’m not letting this gal go. Instead, I’m gonna let you share her with me, because you will all be better for it, Lobsters. You’re welcome.

Blog readers, meet Zoe. Zoe, Blog readers.

I love lists. You’d have figured that out after about a week of this blog, but I thought I’d be up front with you, Lobsters. So I could think of no better way to introduce my friend Zoe than a top seven* list of things I love about her. Ready? Go.

7. She has the most magnificent mane of curls you’ve ever seen. I realize this is a silly reason to love a person, but it’s true. Oh, I also love her freckles – does that make this a valid point? Ah well, at least it’s the number seven reason I love her and not number one. 

Proof of Points 7, 6, and 4

6. She makes pretty babies. Okay, she only has one. And this also seems like a weird reason to love someone, but follow my logic: Zoe is one of my best friends. Best friends share things like pictures of their children. Therefore, I see a lot of pictures of Sofia. I love that I don’t have to pretend to think she’s cute. Makes my life easier, you know?

5. She is encouraging. If I ever write a book, she’s going to have to be one of the top people I dedicate that sucker to because no one, not even my own super supportive mother, has expressed a desire that I pursue that goal more than Zoe. And that’s totally just one example of her encouragement.

4. She has a strong relationship with her family. I don’t know about you, but it makes me happy to see a friend who admires her husband (Dr. Manny Reyes, future professor of mathematics at Bowdoin College, guitar player, video game extraordinaire, all around great, humble guy), adores her child (Sofia Arabella, age five months, basically the cutest), and continuously speaks positively about her parents, sister, and in-laws. Not to say that she doesn’t have any problems ever with any of them, but I know that even if Sofia poops on her, Zoe still loves her like whoa. I guess in some way this makes me feel secure in our friendship too – sometimes I feel like I’m pooping on her with my problems. More on that later.

3. She’s smart. She graduated early from Westmont College with a double major in English and Philosophy, and she also obtained her Masters in Social Work from CSU: East Bay. And if degrees don’t impress you, just trust me. She’s intelligent every single day.

See? Smart. This is not a costume, folks.

2. She’s creative. She’s a writer (see post below for proof), a photographer, a pot painter (like a flower pot, not weed), a cook, a quilter, a singer, and a collector of salt and pepper shakers. I’m sure there’s more, but those are the creative pursuits I connect with Zoe off the top of my head.

1. She’s wise. Once upon a time, I dated a guy on and off for over four years. To way oversimplify things, we were not good for each other, and Zoe lovingly told me that we were not good for each other. Many, many times. I did not listen to her (hence feeling like I’ve pooped on her emotionally). After I ended things with him, I swore to myself that I would listen to Zoe the next time she explicitly gave me advice. Well, about five months later I had a huge crush on a guy in my office, and I wanted to ask him to hang out. She told me not to and said that I needed to be pursued for once. Kicking myself for swearing I’d listen to her, I did not ask him to hang out and figured nothing would ever come of the crush if I wasn’t the instigator. I mean, he was really hot and I was really me. But now I’m having his baby. You can fill in the blanks there and marvel at Zoe’s sagacity. Again, that’s just an example. Sometimes I feel like I have my own personal  therapist, and I’m thankful for that. I think a lot of this comes from her strong relationship with Jesus, which is also an awesome attribute.

Doesn't she just ooooooze wisdom?

I guess I’ll share Zoe though. You can be her friend too, Lobsters. You’re welcome.

*I could have come up with way more, but I didn't want to put anyone to sleep.

So no one told you life was gonna be this way *clap*clap*clap*clap*

I’ve been re-watching my DVDs of FRIENDS season 10 lately. Was I the only one who paid money for the whole Rembrants cd only to find out that this was the only tolerable song on it? Anyways, I got to thinking, what do they mean by "there" when they say "I'll be there for you"?

After ten years of crazy antics, but ultimately faithful friendship to each other, the crew disbands, the series ends. Based on the show, loyalty in friendship was supposedly contingent on geographic proximity. Can you really stay good friends with someone who isn’t your room or hall mate anymore?

10 years ago, I met Emily on a shuttle in downtown Santa Barbara. We shared a glorious year in our college dorm room, B309. But our friendship was really solidified when Emily went abroad to study in Spain. We were really good roommates, but we’re freaking amazing long distance friends. And that’s a good thing – cause everyone scatters after college, but for me, that didn’t have to mean losing one of the greatest gifts my college years gave to me.

Being “there” for one another has meant loving on each other from California, Texas, Virginia, Spain, Sri Lanka, and soon to come, Maine. There has been little about our friendship that has been convenient, but Emily has been “there” for me as we graduated college, got our first jobs, got married, explored career options and grad school, supported our husbands through grad school, and now as we are entering into motherhood.

Seeing as how we live in a time, which forces us to redefine “neighbor” in order to have any longevity in our relationships, I think its worthwhile to reflect on our friendship and figure out how we’ve managed so well. I want us to be there for each other for the decade to come. I want to see if we’ve learned anything worth offering to others. 

Who couldn’t use a little less loneliness, a little more support, a lot more laughter, and heaps more love? I think this is one of the great human projects: to figure out how to love each other better. So join us in this journey. Test out some of our tricks, offer us some suggestions, or just enjoy a good laugh. It’ll be good to have you “here” with us!