[Best of Year One] Dear Sofia, Happy Birthday

[originally posted: WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 4, 2012]

Dear Sofia,

Today is your very first birthday. Today, you are one year old. It feels like a life time since I met you for the first time, and it has been, it has been your entire life.

I feel like I can no longer call you my "baby girl" because you are not very much of a baby anymore. You feed yourself, you walk, and you babble all day long. You are just a little person, investigating the world right along side us. I wanted to be your mommy for years and years, but I honestly had absolutely no idea how much fun we were going to have together. Unfortunately, you are not going to remember all this fun so well, so I wanted to tell you a few things in writing so you can look back on this some day when you can understand what I'm saying and hear the little secrets I want to tell you from day to day.

You are a woman who knows what she wants. You are filled with passion, desire, and determination. Your favorite color is blue-circle. This is a block you always pick out first from a box of multi-colored/shaped blocks. You take your blue circle all around the house, carrying it in your hand or in your mouth where-ever you go. But you do seem to have a preference for blue in general too.You love shoes and credit cards and jewelry. You are already making me nervous with all your girliness!

You love your little music box that plays different orchestra instruments. You seem to have taken a particular liking to the french horn. You love to dance along to a Christmas-snoopy doll that plays the theme song from peanuts. You bob up and down and clap and we can't get over your awesome, though simple, little dance moves. Whenever you hear music of any sort, live or recorded, you start to smile and clap your hands. We love how much you love a good beat.

A couple of your favorite books are Mama, Baby, and other first words, Dr. Seus's ABC's (both of which Mama and Dada have memorized completely), I love you Stinky Face (which Mama and Dada are also fond of because you have been each of the characters at some point in this first year), Pat the Bunny (which you have totally mastered, and added your own actions, like snuggling and kissing Paul and Judy when you're feeling particularly kind). When we try to read your little bible stories to you, there is much screaming and shouting. Too many words, not enough pictures. We're hoping you'll grow into that one.

You LOVE drinking out of cups. Most of the liquid goes down your shirt, all over you tray, all over us, but you are a woman passionate about consuming liquids! You are a shockingly good eater, considering how horribly picky your parents were. You are usually willing to try anything Mama and Dada are eating. You go in waves, but on the good days, you down loads of yogurt, cereal, fruit, and oh how you do love to eat angel hair pasta with your hands! Oh the mess.

Lately, you've picked up this move where you tilt your little head and rest your temple on something - a stuffed animal, my chest, your food tray. It always makes Daddy and I say, "awww" and you love making us do that, so you make the gesture over and over. I have decided it means, "I love _fill in the blank object__" and I think it is the most adorable thing, even when the object is something like a TV remote.

When you get around new people, you are quiet and cautious at first, but soon, you warm up and make friends fast. You are trusting and quick to have a new person take you for a walk by the hand. With lots of new people you lead people to believe you don't have much to say, but in more intimate company, you have so much to contribute to the conversation.

Right now, you think you can talk. Really, you only have "Mama" and "Dada" down, maybe a few other real words pop up here and there. I swear I've heard you say "all done," "water," "turtle," "Hi, Dada," and once the sentence, "good Jesus, all done." My favorite is your new fixation on the word, "wow," we are hearing that one constantly lately! You have such wonder and curiosity about all things beautiful and fascinating and you help me to step back and appreciate so many things I would have otherwise taken for granted. You babble and babble and babble. Sometimes you cause yourself distress, and furrow your brows, and sometimes you crack yourself up and just laugh and laugh, and I can't help but laugh along, even though I don't get your joke. When you grow up, will you please tell us what you were saying all this time? I'm recording a few minutes of it so you can have it to reference.

I love how quick you are to laugh. I'm not sure if there's anything I love more about life right now than the opportunities to tickle you. I get my face all up in your neck and kiss and nuzzle your soft, warm, baby skin and you squeal with delight and I'm in Heaven. I get your closeness and your laugh all at once. You can't beg me to stop yet, so I just tickle you until I get worn out, and you just keep laughing and wriggling and we have so much fun.

You are no couch potato. While you adore TV remotes, you are really uninterested in TV. Sometimes Mama needs a little rest from all the fun, I'll turn on a kids program and hope to get a little breather while you watch, but you barely glance that way before your asking me to walk with you another lap to explore the house again. I keep trying to tell myself this is good and healthy.

There is one exception to the TV watching dislike. Sometimes, after nursing for a while in the afternoon, we put Pixar's "UP" on my phone, and we curl up and watch it together. You love it for the balloons and dogs, and I love it for the snuggle. That's the only time you are still in my arms and not in the process of going to sleep. These are some of the sweetest moments we've shared all year. Thank you, Steve Jobs, for rescuing this little animation company! RIP.

Sofia, we have recently started trying to provide an enhanced night-time routine for you. Instead of just putting you to bed, we now read Goodnight, Moon and then we say the Lords Prayer together as a family. You have mixed feelings about Goodnight, Moon, you alternate between yelling at it in anger and exclaiming with delight over the sight of the little mouse, the moon, and the red balloon. But when we begin to pray, you clasp your little hands and weave your little fingers together and Dada and Mama well up with happy joy.

After you go to bed, I come downstairs and have to empty my pockets from all the treasures I've had to steal away from you that you've picked up in odd places and tried to put in your mouth? My pockets are getting more and more full and curious lately.

Sofia, did you know that we spend all day together, and then I put you to bed, and then Daddy and I go to bed ourselves. But before we can fall asleep, because we miss you so much, we spend a few minutes looking at pictures on my phone and giggling and gushing over how adorable you are and how much we love you. You are our goodnight story.

We love you so much, not-so-baby-girl Sofia. I can't believe we've had the blessing of being with you for a whole year already. I already love the little person you are becoming. I'm so proud of how hard you work to learn and grow. I can't believe I ever went through life without you. Happy First Birthday my little Muffin.

Love,
Mommy

Happy Birthday Blog!

One year ago today, Emily and I launched our very first post here at Long Distance Lobsters, and we've posted at least once every day since. Happy Birthday Blog! My life is better with you in it.

Here's a silly video we made to celebrate. Enjoy, and feel free to mock us mercilessly in the comments.

You'll be seeing some changes in the new Lobster year:

1. The next two weeks will be devoted to revisiting our favorite posts. We hope you enjoy rereading them too (or reading them for the first time if you're new here). This is partly to celebrate a whole year of uninterrupted fresh blogs, but mostly to give ourselves breathing room to since I am moving and Zoe has her hands full with a very energetic toddler.

2. We will still update regularly, but we won't be quite as diligent about making sure it's daily. (I write this for my sister who was concerned for our wellbeing when we posted very late one day last week.)

3. Those are the only two changes I can think of.


As always, we welcome your input and reader requests. Thanks for giving our little project an audience!

In conclusion, hurray! 

a tiger, an imaginary armadillo, and balloon poop

Once upon a time (and by that I mean today), Arabella came to town from New Jersey to keep me company and help with Eiley while Jeff was out of town. To celebrate her safe arrival, I took her to Texas Roadhouse. It ended up being the weirdest dining experience of my recent life. Proof:


1. Our waitress was in a foul mood. When we sat down, she started apologizing profusely for the table not being wiped, which we hadn't even noticed, and muttered something about the hostesses being bad at their jobs. She then suggested a bunch of different drink options, looking like she was might cry the whole time she rattled off the list. 


2. There was a group of eight older women at the table next to ours celebrating a birthday. They asked their waitress to take their picture, and in order to get the full shot, she sat down and scooted next to me in my booth.


3. Arabella put a napkin on Eiley's head and Eiley left it there for several minutes. She looked like a mini flying nun, and the aforementioned older ladies apparently thought it was the cutest thing they'd ever seen. Ever. One of them grabbed our grumpy waitress's arm as she was walking by and emphatically reprimanded her, "You need to stop, and appreciate, the cuteness of that baby right there." 


4. We were there on Kid's Night, which we didn't know existed. A balloon artist came by the older ladies' table and offered to make the birthday girl a balloon animal. He didn't mention what he was making as he pulled out a brown balloon and started twisting it into thick knots. They all start giggling, and one said "I don't know where he's going with this, but the brown balloon makes me think it's not going to be good." She thought it would be poop. It was a monkey. 


5. Balloon Guy came to our table. He asked if we'd seen the giant armadillo wandering around. We hadn't. We later heard him ask another table if they'd seen the giant armadillo. They hadn't either. We searched the restaurant for the giant armadillo before leaving, and it was no where to be found. Therefore, Balloon Guy clearly had an imaginary giant armadillo.

Balloon Guy made this "dog" for Eiley. Arabella found it suspicious.

6. Balloon Guy informed us that summer is not a good season to take balloons outside. With the confidence of a college professor lecturing a class, he told us, "Don't even waste your time waiting in line for a balloon during the summer if you're outside. That thing will not last." Noted.


7. While Balloon Guy stood next to us, a child approached and asked him to fix her balloon. Her face was painted to look like a tiger, though it also kind of looked like she'd recently taken part in some kind of disturbing tribal war ceremony.


8. By the end of the evening, our grumpy waitress had turned into just a slightly awkward waitress. She admitted that she had been telling all her co-workers to come see the cute baby at our table. She then noticed that Arabella was feeding Eiley sweet potato with a fork and she practically Dobbied herself for not bringing a spoon for the baby.


9. The rolls were not warm, pillowy pockets of deliciousness. If you've ever been to Texas Roadhouse, you know that this is also super weird. And if you know me, you know that this point is only being made to keep the list odd.


In conclusion, I found the evening exceedingly entertaining and gave a generous tip to thank slightly awkward waitress for the dinner and theater.

Dear Grammy (or: "Zoe's not-so-secret Garden Part III")

Zoë's Garden Part III: Nature and Nurture


Dear Grammy,


I have few memories of you not tending to people around you, specifically me in fact. You have a special gift for making the person you're with feel like the center of your universe. But one of those rare memories I hold is of the times you would be in linen shorts and a sleeveless button down shirt, maybe with a sunhat or scarf on your head, shovel in hand, crouching down amidst azaleas, tending to your garden. I remember a happy, quiet peace about you in the garden. 


While I'm very happy for all the new convenience, safety, and simplicity in your new apartment lifestyle, it saddens me whenever I tell you about my yard and you lament no longer having your own to wander about. I wish you could just be here to garden with Sofia and I every day, and that's why I would love to share some photos of it with you. For you, I've specifically picked some photos with Sofia in it, because I know that's what you really love getting to see best. 


Our garden is filled with so many beautiful flowers and even some herbs and vegetables that we inherited. Even though I barely did a thing last summer to invest in this ground myself, I'm certainly reaping the benefits now of my predecessors' sweat and toil. So much white, yellow, red, and green springing up everywhere. Sofia and I love discovering something new every day we go out there. We can't get enough.

. . . even napping in the garden

I've never gardened with my daughter alongside me while I work before. I can't tell you how many sweet moments I've spent, lifting my head up while my hands are still in the dirt, catching her quietly investigating the contents of the grass or studying the meaning of the universe through plants. Gardening highlights for me how miraculous nature is, how little I do to aid in life coming forth, and similarly, how small but significant my hand is in Sofia's life too. Many of these plants would have been stifled under debris if I hadn't come through to clear them away, but they are otherwise growing on their own. So too with Sofia?

Well, maybe they could not grow so well completely on their own. I've certainly pulled my fair share of weeds out of these beds, heaping piles in fact. I've pulled unfortunately large amounts of weeds out of Sofia too. She spends half our time outside running around, grabbing huge handfuls of dirt out of my nicely prepared planters. It begins as a little competition between us, I'm turning the soil or filling a pot and she wants to grab my dirt away from me. She snatches it right off my shovel. But this is not meant just to foil my efforts. She runs that dirt quickly over to our garden gnome and gently offers it to his mouth, sometimes finishing off the act by giving him a little kiss on his beard. This process is one I find endearing. I figure I can spare some of my dirt for the sake of her pet. Perhaps she too is trying to nurture something she loves, just like me with my garden, and me with her. 
But then, she starts to grab handfuls and shoves them into her mouth, "Dirt!" And just as I begin to chase after her and try to wipe it all out and off, she's grabbing another handful and tossing that on top of her head, rubbing it into her hair and wiping it all over her clothes, "Dirt!" And so I run back and forth between tending my planters and tending my child. And so begins my role as disciplinarian.

Grammy, you were the one I always called whenever I was disciplined and felt mad about it, which was probably whenever I was disciplined. You listened and you let me cry. That's the joy in being the grandparent, right? You get to love on the kids and you don't have to be the disciplinarian anymore. But you were so consistent in telling me over and over that when my parents discipline me and set boundaries for me, it means they love me. And you were right. You could have just played "nice cop" to their "bad cop," but you backed them up 100% of the time and helped me accept the boundaries they set. And believe it or not, probably in part thanks to how you helped me look at things, I look back on my upbringing and feel thankful for my parents' discipline and for the scrapes their boundaries kept me safe from. 

Another more literal boundary we've been struggling with is our fence line. Not that we have much fence to speak of. Sofia could easily weasel through that sucker, but she doesn't quite know that yet. She does know that there is a whole new yard, and fields, and woods on the other side of that fence that she can reach through an opening in the middle. For the past couple weeks, she's been darting through that opening to run after blackbirds, dogs, and people on bikes. Several times each day, I chase her down. We get to the fence line, I crouch down, restraining her with my arms all about her, and I have a little talk with her about not leaving the fenced in area without Mommy. 

Well for a few days now, she's looked up to see that opening, looked at me, crept near to it, halted, and then run back to me, grabbing my hand and dragging me to and through it. I can't believe it. My discipline worked. She didn't decide to resent and hate me forever, she works within my rule and we have so much more fun now. I'm so glad you taught me that discipline done well is love, Grammy. Of course, it remains to see how well this will work out about 12 years from now . . . 

I think the new growth finally popping up out of these blankets of dirt give me a visual hint about the fruit of my nurture - with labor and patience, growth can come through in a few spots. And maybe, through time we're spending out in the garden together, Sofia is growing too. 

She's learning new words and how to identify colors (well color singular at least, we see a lot of green). She's spotting new bugs and how they crawl. She's unearthing new plants and taste-testing the weeds. She's struggling against my boundaries. She's figuring out how to share with me (dirt and other things too). She's getting her first tastes of cooperation, obedience, and patience. 
The garden has added this new dynamic to our relationship. In the garden, we've found a safe place to have a bit more space and independence from one another, a place to work side by side to a common end, a place to enjoy well earned breaks or moments of celebration for work done well, and a place to learn and grow together. 

It's a beautiful place, Grammy. I wish you could be with us to feel the warmth of the Maine sun, to picknick in our grass, to laugh at Sofia's antics, to hear the wave like sounds of wind rushing through our pine trees. But I hope you can enjoy these photos of Sofia in it at least. 


And I hope you know that I'm passing on a lesson or two that you taught me. More than that, I hope you know that I am grateful for the ways you made me who I am, ways that help me love my Sofia and help her to grow. I hope you know that in our garden, your labor of love is bearing sweet sweet fruit. 

Love,

Zoë Faith

Movie Review Monday #49: School of Life

My dear friend Tiffany was in town a couple of weeks ago, and we decided to watch School of Life on Netflix because there was nothing else that looked good and it starred Ryan Reynolds. It's basically the story of a teacher, played by character actor David Paymer, who wants to be the cool teacher more than anything in the world, but then Ryan Reynolds starts teaching at the same school and is obviously way cooler. Thoughts:


1. I recognize David Paymer from about a million things, but the top movie that comes to mind for him is Heart and Souls, a weirdly sweet film about Robert Downey Jr seeing dead people. Anyway, he wasn't great in that and he wasn't great in this. But the dude has 146 credits according to My BFF imdb. My point here is that my husband is a really good actor, so a mediocre actor who has worked steadily since the 70s gives me great hope for Jeff's future.

This is from Heart and Souls.

Whoa, edit time! My BFF imdb just also informed me that Paymer was nominated for an Oscar for his work in Mr. Saturday Night. I may need to watch that sometime just to see him in a good performance. Also, David Paymer, if you read this, I apologize for calling you a mediocre actor. What do I know, anyway - I'm a civilian.


2. If a teacher put as much work into his classes as Ryan Reynolds does in this film, I would worry about them. He seriously had full costumes for half of his classroom scenes, and I genuinely wondered if he was going to make Robin Williams' carpe diem speech at one point.

3. Ryan Reynolds is a charming actor. Not amazing or brilliant, but charming and entertaining. Tiffany and I were discussing the fact that we've never seen him in something we didn't like. I'm avoiding The Green Lantern specifically to keep his perfect streak in tact.


4. There was a twist in this film. I expected a twist, but I didn't guess what it was exactly, so there was that.


5. Unfortunately David Paymer's character essentially spirals into a jealous madness throughout the film. That went on for just a smidge too long. For example, I thought him ending up at the school in his pajamas one morning was definitely the last straw, but there was still more. Shortening up that conflict could have made this movie significantly stronger.


In conclusion, I give this one claw up. It wasn't terrible, and it wasn't great. It was meh. 

Sabbath Sunday: Happy Mothers' Day!

Happy Mothers' Day, Lobsters!

I hope you are all doing something lovely for your own mothers today! And for those of you who are yourselves mothers, I hope you are feeling loved and appreciated today. I for one, am grateful for what you do to care for your little ones. Even if I do not know you, the love you give your child will make the world my child grows up in a better place, and for that I thank you.

In particular, I must issue a note of gratitude to my own mother for her decades of love and care for me and my baby sister. Even though we are no longer little, she cares for us just the same. For example, in a period of twelve months, she is going to have helped our family execute five moves [us, herself, both her parents and in-laws, and my sister - a big year of transition for our family!]. That's just ridiculous! 

I found this picture of the three of us on the back porch of the house I grew up in and I can't stop looking at it because it makes me feel so happy. Mom, there's no way to properly thank you for giving me such beautiful memories. Thank you for bringing me into the world with such joy. I love you! 

I also want to thank my mom! Mama, you are fun (please see photo 1 for evidence), beautiful (please see photo 2), creative (please see blog post you wrote earlier this week), intelligent (please see photo 3...wait, nevermind, just trust me on this one), generous (please see me living in your house again next month), and loving. You are my dear friend, and I love you to bitsies. I can't wait to hang out with you in just 17 days!

JUMPING! (What you lack in springiness you make up for in jazzy hands.)

In case you've forgotten, these are our beautiful supermodel poses.

You're welcome for this.

 Happy Mother's Day!

Flashback! the nineteenth.

11/10/04

oh my goodness!!! the el encanto is beautiful!!! i couldn't see the waterfall in the pic, but the pond is adorable and everything about this screams you and manny...how many people will be able to attend?

-your pyg

11/10/04

you really think it looks like us? yay. i love it! :)  it holds up to 145, you
know how they know that? because that's how many people attended the lead
guitarist from No Doubts Wedding there just a few days before we visited!!
crazy!!  but we're going to try to get our numbers down under 120 to save the
mulah.

-your z

11/10/04

woooo...a famous person was married there! awesome! and now future famous people (genius mathematician and famous photographer, duh) are going to get married there! sweet! what a history the little lily pond has ;). 120 is not very many! i'm glad i made it into the wedding party or else i'd be nervous. i think smaller weddings are so much better though - family and the friends that really count. will there be crazy dancing to norah jones and even some cotton eye joe?

love love love!

emily