It's All in God's Timing - The Tale of a Cliche Come to Life

Once upon a time, I enrolled in the Master of Arts in Screenwriting program at Regent University. I receive tuition remission, so we would only have to pay taxes on a degree that would help me come closer to my goal of writing for a living. I worked full time and planned to take a full load of classes, so I felt nervous about the amount of busting my butt that would happen, but even more, I felt excited to stretch my creativity muscles.


On the first day of class, I made an effort to contribute to the classroom conversation (so not my thing). The professor was awesome, as were my fellow classmates, and the class whizzed by quickly. However, at the end of the class, I felt completely unsettled. Something in me was telling me to quit, this wasn't the time, I shouldn't be in the program, I needed to withdraw, withdraw, withdraw. 


I. was. crushed.

I felt like this post needed a picture, so here is me looking upset. In 2009.
Okay, I really just wanted to post a picture of myself looking thin and tan.
Vanity in a post about God!

I had worked hard to assemble all the admissions materials to get into the program. I had rearranged my work schedule. I had told many people about this new endeavor. I had thought that this was going to give me a bigger sense of purpose in Virginia. I had even purchased a brand new computer. But I could not ignore the intense feeling that I needed to stop immediately. (Spoiler alert: That "feeling" was actually the Big Guy - the Holy Spirit itself, speaking in a freaking loud voice instead of a still small one.) 


Fast forward to a couple of months later when my husband knocked me up. What?! If I had remained in the graduate program, I would have finished my first semester and then had to quit, thus losing a lot of time and money. I would have been even more heartbroken to have to end something into which I'd invested a difficult semester's worth of energy. And I would have been heartbroken while pregnant, which would have compounded the disappointment because of all the crazy hormones. 


I don't know if you're a believer, Lobster, but I sure am. God's timing has blown my mind many times, and this is a prime example. Anyone else have a good example? Either leave it in the comments or send it to us as a guest post - we'd love to share it with everyone in internet land. 

Move Complete

What a long process this move has been! It was March of 2010 that we made the decision to move to Maine. This June we started shopping around for movers. After weeding through all the options, we landed on Sullivan Moving and Storage [the United movers in San Diego]. And now the move is finally complete. 

Our moving coordinator, Chris, was fantastic. Immensely more knowledgeable than the other guys who came by to provide us with estimates, Chris was also incredibly responsive to all of my calls and emails peppering him with questions throughout the process. His offices were not as responsive or impressive - making complaints about the corporate offices  changing policies that caused delays or complications in my paperwork (I'm not a big fan of excuses). But in the end, everything came through ok, it just left me nervous in the waiting. 

We were moving belongings out of residences in three different cities [we've been a little slow to fully grow up and move all our stuff out of our parents' homes]. That meant three different crews to load up, and another crew to unload. [more on our loading process in San Diego] All of the guys we interacted with were great. They were professional, competent, and fun all at the same time. The day we unloaded in our new place, we took a lunch break while it rained outside. We enjoyed some pizza while the guys gave us advice about surviving the Maine winters. One guy spent half the time laughing at how crazy it was that a couple of California kids were about to face their first northeastern winter, but in a good natured way that actually helped to dispel some of the anxiety. 

Our stuff arrived in two shipments, one truck from California, one from Texas. The guys from Texas loaded that truck, drove it out, and unloaded it for me. It was a pair of brothers, Paul and Dwight. Having met my mom, who was managing the pick up there, it felt like I had family friends helping me set up my new home. They were even thoughtful enough to remember that my mom had mentioned I was allergic to dogs, so they dusted off some of the furniture to make sure no residual dog hair even entered my house. 

Despite the fact that we did all the packing ourselves ["our" should be read as including our extended family and friends - thanks everyone!], we consolidated belongings from six cities total into one home, and that the move included several very vulnerable pieces of antique furniture and dish-ware from my grandmother's collection I've been incredibly impressed that I can only find one nick about two inches long on one piece of furniture. Not too shabby United Van Lines! And not too bad, Reyes family! I'm kind of impressed with us for surviving all of this. Time to enjoy Down East Vacationland! 

Checking In

Hey Lobsters, am I the only one who has been catching up with a friend you thought you were so close to to discover that she's been dating a guy for five months? whoops. Or have you ever been scrolling through the facebook news feed to see a status update from your friend you always thought of as a high-powered-business-woman-not-ready-for-kids posting about her three children you hadn't noticed she'd had? When did that happen?!

I often fail at this when I call old friends by childhood nicknames they've worked hard to grow out of [ironic, as I worked very hard to change my own name], or forget about major career or life changes a friend has undergone since I've seen them last, or show little interest in a family member's dreams for the future. I find it easy to get stuck in memories and hard to keep learning about people love. 

Does anyone else ever witness this effect? I have heard many a wife talk about watching their husbands regress into little boys when they return home to their mother’s house - suddenly forgetting how to cook or clean for themselves. Or people who turn back into their high school selves when they get around their high school friends. Tastes, personalities, life style, and perspectives change with our life experiences. It is helpful for us to adapt our friendships as much as we adapt ourselves. 

The way psychologist, John Gottman, explains it in the context of marriage is staying up to date with your partner’s “love map.” The point he makes is that people are changing all of the time. And if you want someone to feel loved by you, you can’t keep loving them as a person they used to be and ignore the needs and desires of the person they are now. 

Take Emily, for example, I knew her in college when her tastes were rather narrow and she was pretty stubborn about trying new things. But a while back, she started a blog called “Anything Once,” dedicating herself to give new things at least one try. Her tastes have since broadened dramatically.  But if I didn’t take the time to read her blog or check in with her about little details like the ways she likes to spend her free time now or how her job is, I would be loving on a friend I used to know, not the friend I have now.

For some great concrete tools to do this with your spouse, your family members, your old friends, I recommend trying to get your hands on John Gottman's books.

What are some of the ways you keep up with who your friends are becoming, Lobsters? 

Movie Review Monday #13: Shades of Ray

I've been spending a lot of time in front of Netflix Instant lately. A lot. (To be precise, it takes Eiley about an hour total to eat, and she eats about 8 times a day, and a lot of those feedings are spent in front of Netflix.) I've discovered many new shows and already watched every episode of Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, Samantha Who?, and Better Off Ted. I heartily recommend all of these shows. Claws up everywhere.


We don't watch a ton of movies on Netflix, but Jeff and I did recently check out Shades of Ray, an independent film starring Zachary Levi. He plays a half Caucasian, half Pakistani man. The film is mostly about him trying to figure out what it means to be such a unique racial mix and what that means within his family. Observations:


1. This film reminded me a bit of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, in that it was mostly a comedy with some brief touching moments and it provided a little bit of insight into a different culture (in this case, Pakistani Muslim) and a lot of insight into a particular family.
2. The best friend in this film was super cliche: Best friend since childhood and now they're roommates, kind of a screw up, comedic relief, blah blah blah. Well, I suppose that's a cliche for a reason - I still liked the character. The writer in me just got a little annoyed at the contrivance at times. Am I allowed to be a screenwriting snob when I've never even tried to write a screenplay? No? Oh well.
3. Seriously, Zachary Levi has my husband's career. I mean, I've always thought that Jeff looks slightly Middle Eastern, and there Zach was, playing a half Middle Eastern dude. 

Do you see it? Slightly Middle Eastern...slightly.

Maybe when we move back to California we can stalk Mr. Levi and Jeff can go to all of the same auditions. Or maybe he'll need an actor to play his brother at some point. Zachary Levi, if you're reading this, please leave some work for my husband. We have a kid. Have mercy.


In conclusion, this was an entertaining film. Nothing outstanding, but worth the time. I give it one and a half claws up. 

Sabbath Sunday #13

Today I'm observing the Sabbath by going to church, then lunch with friends, then hopefully to Goodwill to buy some not maternity and not my normal size shorts and also hopefully going to see The Help. Next week is my first week as a theater widowed single mom (rehearsal starts next week), so I'm trying to live it up today!

Can't take Texas out of the Girl

You can take the girl out of Texas, but you can't take Texas out of the girl, y'all. That's right, I was born and raised in the Lone Star State. I have re-acclimated to this other country where no one has air-conditioning in their homes, I have learned to live without getting bar b que every saturday for lunch, but every now and then, I just need a little country music fix. It's one of my guilty pleasures.

I am a little pretentious about it, in that I prefer "Texas Country" to typical pop stuff. But I'm also way out of touch with things that are current. There are just a few songs or artists here and there that bring a smile to my face and make me feel like home. Can Texas be considered one of my long distance friends?

Pat Green - from my own hometown, guitar student of my old youth pastor, this is the only country music artist I've ever seen live in concert. Manny and I saw him at the Houston Rodeo, largest rodeo in the world, thank you very much! He's up there with Willy Nelson as a true Texas Country artist.

Any Man of Mine by Shania Twain - my karaoke go to song. 

George Jones - This guy sounds like the side porch of Goode Company Bar B Que [best BBQ in the world], where my dad took me every Saturday for lunch as our break from working in the yard. NPR did a great piece about him not too long ago.

Dixie Chicks - an exception to my supposed preference against pop country, these gals were were practically outlawed in Texas for a while for their lack of patriotism, but I still enjoy them. I especially love their cover of Landslide.

Rascal Flatts - another pop exception, but they're just fun.




Assuage my embarrassment Lobsters, anyone else enjoy the guilty pleasure of some country music from time to time? [Texans, please don't yell at me for being embarrassed.]

Book(s) Review: The Hunger Games Trilogy

I am obsessed with The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins. Seriously. Ask my husband. Every time someone visits, he tells them about the 5 S's to calm a baby (from the book The Happiest Baby on the Block, which we earnestly recommend) and I ask them if they've read The Hunger Games. It has become a joke of sorts (I say "of sorts" because it's not really funny and traditionally jokes are funny - in fact, the more I think about it, the more I think it's kind of sad that we both only have one topic of conversation, but at least we don't talk about the color of Eiley's poop or anything). I even asked our friend Chad if he'd read them twice in one week. 


Arabella let me borrow her Kindle, so I was able to read the entire trilogy while nursing Eiley. Amazing. Sometimes I would tell Eiley to just keep eating if I was finishing a chapter. Things I loved about The Hunger Games:

1. They were super addictive, like Twilight, but I didn't feel like my brain was turning to mush because it was so horribly written, unlike Twilight. This was well written and a page turner.
2. The characters were interesting and memorable and not entirely predictable.
3. The main character, Katniss, has two potential love interests to choose from. She can't choose, but neither could I. Seemed more realistic this way. Like 90s one hit wonder Natalie Imbruglia, I was torn.
4. These are fantasy novels, which I don't normally go for because I'm generally too lazy to learn about a whole new world (for example, I couldn't make it through the Lord of the Rings books with all their lands and different creatures and terminology and Gollum). I found it easy to jump into this world, which is really our world but in the future and slightly altered. The names were unconventional but not difficult to remember or pronounce and the lore was clearly communicated and easy to follow. 
5. I was on the edge of my glider chair much of the time. This is a story of survival, hope, freedom, unintentional heroism and awesome costumery. 
6. Katniss's weapon of choice is the bow and arrow, which is also my weapon of choice! 
7. The movie comes out next year, and I'm a sucker for books that are adapted. 

Two enthusiastic claws up, Lobsters! Read The Hunger Games today! (Or I'll ask you if you've read them bi-weekly until you do!)