Happy Birthday Eiley!!!

Happy zeroth birthday Eiley Grace Fazakerley!!!

Report from mama Emily:

"eiley grace is here! 8 lbs 11 oz, 20 inches. hurt like whoa :-)"

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Labor!

Just got a call from Emily. Water broke at 3:30 this morning. Mama, papa, grandparents and Aunt Jenna are all at the hospital. Emily is comfortably enjoying her epidural. More updates to come when we "have a person" she says. Prayers and well wishes are welcome! Let's send out some encouragement for Emily and little Eiley!

Another Baby Update

Last night I tried getting Eiley out by drinking Red Raspberry Herbal Tea. I've heard this works, but I couldn't even choke down an entire cup, so maybe that's why I'm still pregnant today. Or maybe it's because I pilfered the tea from church and Eiley doesn't want to start her life as an accomplice. 


Or maybe it's because we watched Deathly Hallows, Part I last night and I went to the bathroom during the Bathilda Bagshot scene and thus missed an opportunity to scare the baby out of me.


Or maybe I just have a delightfully comfortable and accommodating womb. Yeah, that's probably it.

Baby Update

Since people seem curious, here's an update:


I am still pregnant. I am uncomfortable, but would like to clarify that I'm not miserable by any means. My hope is that she either comes tomorrow so she can get a free slurpee on her birthday every year or that she comes on Friday so I can go to the midnight showing of Harry Potter the night before. If she waits until then, she might just be the perfect child. Priorities, people.


I have been doing my part to usher her out though. This weekend, we went on a long walk at the mall, swam, ate tons of fresh pineapple, went over every speed bump Jeff saw, and now we're cleaning the house. To be clear, I'm not getting that nesting feeling. I really don't want to clean the house at all, but maybe we're tricking my body into thinking it's nesting and thus Eiley will want to come out. Or not. Either way, the house was seriously a disaster and we're fixing that.


Also either way, this kid will be here by the 18th because the doctor scheduled us for induction that day if she doesn't come earlier.


In conclusion, two people have asked if Eiley is twins this weekend. This time I responded with "No, I'm just due today," which was slightly more satisfying than courtesy chuckling.

Sabbath Sunday: Waiting for Eiley

Happy Sunday, Lobsters! Today I'm going to observe the Sabbath by eating fresh pineapple (it's supposed to help induce labor), walking a lot, and hanging out with Jeff.

Nervousness.

A human is going to come out of me sometime soon. How weird is that? Yeah, it happens every day, but it's still weird to me. I've had mixed emotions about having a child - I usually start with dread because we are so not ready for a baby (mostly just financially, but that's something I tend to worry about most so it seems to loom extra), and that cycles to guilt for feeling dread because the baby is a blessing and I should feel wholly grateful, thrilled, joyful, [pick a happy adjective] about her. Last week I had a lovely realization that far less competent people have had children who turned out fine, so we should be okay too. But I still have some concerns, and I thought I'd throw them out there to you, Lobsters:

1. I'm afraid I'm going to become a different person. Lack of sleep will make me grumpy, hormones will make me super sentimental, or I'll turn into one of those people who only talks about what their kid did that day. I already struggle to not talk about my dog too much. I'm hoping that the baby will do even more interesting things than him, but then I run the risk of boring people with anecdotes about poop and drool.
2. Speaking of dog, I'm ever so slightly afraid that my child won't be as adorable as my Buster. In fact, if I don't think Eiley is cute, I won't say that aloud because that is socially unacceptable, but I will lean forward conspiratorially and whisper "...we know" when people first meet her. That's right - I have an ugly baby contingency plan. (We will very likely still love her, don't worry.)

...and he's not photogenic.

3. Collectively, Jeff and I know nothing about infants. We went to a "Parenting Your Newborn" class last night and learned a little, but I'm fairly certain that watching a Powerpoint is not real preparation for having a child. I have changed approximately one diaper in my life and I've never dressed a Squirmy McSquirmerson, so things are about to get slapstick in my house. I think this will be hilarious for the most part, so my concern here is mostly that people will laugh at me and I'll get defensive, or they'll criticize me and I'll cry or hit them back with some snark. I guess this goes back to not wanting to become a grumpy jerk.

4. I will be working full time after a little bit of short term disability (yeah, no maternity leave here - this baby is considered a disability). I'm nervous about juggling work with baby. My office is definitely working with me to make it as easy as possible, but without the possibility of paying for childcare, easy is not really going to be an option. I am pre-grateful for the friends who have expressed a desire to help out and the husband who is going to be super involved and my sister who I'm certain will be a super aunt.
5. Let's revisit point one. I'm seriously nervous about the lack of sleep portion of that. In my mind, I will not be sleeping for the next eighteen years or so. I love sleep, and I'm going to miss it like whoa. This is a selfish point. Feel free to judge me.

Any future parent Lobsters feel this way? Or is it all sunshine and excitement and basketball tummies?

Virtual Baby Shower

Most people (including myself) would think that living across the country from a friend means you obviously can't throw them a baby shower when they're expecting. For example, when Zoe was pregnant, I simply arranged for our college friends to pool our money to mail her a bunch of gifts. Sure, that was a nice thought - but it was practically rude compared to what Zoe did for me.


Last Sunday, Zoe arranged a virtual baby shower. She mailed out party packs in advance to the guests (ten college friends from around the country) that included glasses to decorate and game pieces. She arranged for gifts to be mailed in time to open at the shower. She upgraded her Skype account to accommodate a conference call. And she did all this while being an amazing mother/wife/etc and starting this blog with me. I'm starting to think she has learned how to function with a complete lack of sleep.


The shower was amazing! We started out by briefly updating each other on our lives, then we played baby-themed mad gabs and a round of telephone pictionary, and we wrapped things up with Jeff and me opening gifts. Except for the occasional technical blip, it was just like being in the same room at a regular, fun baby shower. The fact that we were on Skype just made it extra creative and memorable. So BAM...there's your intense, tangible example of long distance friendship, Lobsters. I recommend using this idea - it would work for other things too, like bridal showers or birthday parties.

2/3 of the party!

Nathan, who had the most impressively decorated glasses

anything once: being asked if you're having twins

I have been asked three times now if I'm sure I'm not having twins. I realize these people are trying to be funny. They are not funny.


Ways I wish I could respond:
1. "I'm sure. But hey, are YOU having twins?"
2. "You realize that you're basically calling me fat, right? That doesn't seem very nice, does it?" 
3. "Oh, gosh. Maybe. I'm really not sure at this point. I mean, I've been to the doctor approximately 80,000 times now, and they haven't said anything yet, but I haven't really asked."
4. Bursting into tears. (Not because the comment actually makes me want to cry, but because I think it'd be entertaining to freak the person out.)
5. Kicking them in the shins. (Okay, I don't really want to do this. It would hurt my toes.)


Way I do respond:
1. Courtesy laugh. "Gosh, I hope not." Courtesy chuckle. Roll my eyes when they go away.

Jeff is also not having twins.

A lady in my office said today that the only good thing to say to a pregnant woman is "You look good." I said that the best thing to say to a pregnant woman is "Hello." You know, like she's still a normal person or something. But this is just one Lobster's opinion.

anything once: sitting on a bench in arlington cemetery for an hour

My prior blog was called "Anything Once" and included my thoughts on new things I tried. I'll continue that tradition here. You should try new things too and tell us about them! 

A tip for you, lobsters: Don't go to Washington D.C. when you're eight months pregnant. It's just not that fun. Jeff's family was in town this week, and that was one of the trips that we took. It was kind of fun, but also rough. I am totally okay just walking, walking, walking, but standing still for more than a few seconds is seriously a challenge. So when we went to Arlington Cemetery at the end of the day, I knew I'd be better off just sitting on a park bench instead of trying to rush the group past monuments. 

I had no idea that sitting there was going to be so amusing. These are the things that happened:

1. Some people felt the need to speak to me, which was nice! I got "Nice to kick your feet up, eh?" "You've got it rough." "Mama got tired?" And a deaf man who was drenched in sweat asked if I was okay and said that his feet hurt.

2. Another pregnant woman sat next to me on the bench and her friend took a picture of us. I'm still wishing I had asked her to send it to me.

3. A college student with a knee brace sat with me for a bit. I asked her where she was from, and she said she was from Texas A&M, visiting D.C. with her Country Western Dance Team. No, seriously.

4. I heard approximately five different languages pass me.

5. Most of the children who passed by gawked at me. I'd like to think that in a few years, they'll look back on their time at Arlington Cemetery and remember the lines of white headstones memorializing our nation's heroes...and they'll remember my monstrous belly.

I also learned that if you serve in the military and are later appointed Supreme Court Justice, you are eligible to be interred at Arlington. And there are only two presidents buried there. (A tour guide paused near me.)

View from a bench

In conclusion, this was a peaceful, albeit slightly creepy, way to pass an hour.