Baby Update

Since people seem curious, here's an update:


I am still pregnant. I am uncomfortable, but would like to clarify that I'm not miserable by any means. My hope is that she either comes tomorrow so she can get a free slurpee on her birthday every year or that she comes on Friday so I can go to the midnight showing of Harry Potter the night before. If she waits until then, she might just be the perfect child. Priorities, people.


I have been doing my part to usher her out though. This weekend, we went on a long walk at the mall, swam, ate tons of fresh pineapple, went over every speed bump Jeff saw, and now we're cleaning the house. To be clear, I'm not getting that nesting feeling. I really don't want to clean the house at all, but maybe we're tricking my body into thinking it's nesting and thus Eiley will want to come out. Or not. Either way, the house was seriously a disaster and we're fixing that.


Also either way, this kid will be here by the 18th because the doctor scheduled us for induction that day if she doesn't come earlier.


In conclusion, two people have asked if Eiley is twins this weekend. This time I responded with "No, I'm just due today," which was slightly more satisfying than courtesy chuckling.

anything once: being asked if you're having twins

I have been asked three times now if I'm sure I'm not having twins. I realize these people are trying to be funny. They are not funny.


Ways I wish I could respond:
1. "I'm sure. But hey, are YOU having twins?"
2. "You realize that you're basically calling me fat, right? That doesn't seem very nice, does it?" 
3. "Oh, gosh. Maybe. I'm really not sure at this point. I mean, I've been to the doctor approximately 80,000 times now, and they haven't said anything yet, but I haven't really asked."
4. Bursting into tears. (Not because the comment actually makes me want to cry, but because I think it'd be entertaining to freak the person out.)
5. Kicking them in the shins. (Okay, I don't really want to do this. It would hurt my toes.)


Way I do respond:
1. Courtesy laugh. "Gosh, I hope not." Courtesy chuckle. Roll my eyes when they go away.

Jeff is also not having twins.

A lady in my office said today that the only good thing to say to a pregnant woman is "You look good." I said that the best thing to say to a pregnant woman is "Hello." You know, like she's still a normal person or something. But this is just one Lobster's opinion.