Snapshot Saturday #4: mossy

I enjoy the collection of shapes and textures that this image captures. It makes me feel both peaceful and intrigued, like a proper dose of caffeine.

Can anyone identify where this was taken?

The Movers I Won’t Be Hiring.

Lobsters, did you know that this summer anticipates the busiest volume of moves in the US in ten years? That means it is a mover’s market. That means that if you are hiring a moving company to take your belongings across country for the first time, you’re in trouble. Seeing as how that would be me, I’ve been doing my homework.

I learned it is important to have them do a visual, in-home assessment of all of your belongings to get a “not to exceed price” quote for your move. I learned you should get several quotes. I learned that I needed to make sure they are Better Business Bureau approved, and ideally approved by the American Moving and Storage Association so you avoid all the funny business of dudes with trucks just looking to make a buck. I did my homework. [Now you don’t have to. You’re welcome.]

Doing all this homework means I’ve interacted with a whole slew of interesting people. It has been a stressful headache, but some of these people [unintentionally] helped provide a little comic relief. Here are a few profiles of the movers I won’t be hiring. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Dude number one: “Anxiety Attack Al”

When I explained my complicated moving situation, I soon became concerned that this man was going to have a heart attack right there in my apartment. I was nervous about the move, but this guy was having an anxiety attack over how complicated it was. This did not calm me down at all. After assessing my belongings and pulling his hair out a bit, he comes up with an estimate. He looks at his screen, he looks at me, “oh no,” he looks at his screen, and back at me, “you’re going to flip, this is so much money” he tells me. I did not flip; I did not do a summersault either. Five days later when he finally called back to discuss part two of my move, he tells me he can not do it because I don’t meet his minimum pound requirement, so he wants to know what I want to do. This conversation also stresses him out. Three other movers seem to have found a way to help me do it, so I tell him we’ll just go in a different direction. He flips. And then he hangs up on me.

Dude number two: “Too cool for school Sean”

Dude number one had come in carrying a briefcase, a laptop, a portable printer, a clipboard, etc. etc. etc. Dude number two walks in with nothing but his smart phone. I don’t think that guy even carried a wallet. Sharply dressed, hair gelled, he was fifteen minutes late but ready to hit the ground running. He was suave. He was confident. And then he mistyped my email address. Smooth, Sean, smooth.

Dude number three: “Keepin’ it chill Charlie”

In all honesty, I really liked this guy. Fellow parent, quite friendly, totally recognized what a trial I had before me, he bent over backwards to try to make me feel relaxed and calm about it all. But perhaps he got a bit too relaxed when I told him of my concern about getting our mattress box springs out of the 3^rd floor apartment. Our stairwell is horribly narrow. No matter how we turned that box spring, it would not fit. Keepin’ it chill Charlie asks me, “how did you move it in?” I tell him, my brother-in-law overcame his fear of heights to play superman for the day. He climbed on top of our moving truck, slid it over our 2^nd floor neighbors’ balcony, through their apartment to the courtyard below our front door, up over that balcony, and into our apartment.  It was a feat! Charlie says, “cool, can we just do that again?” Nope. I was kinda lookin’ to hire movers that were better equipped than my in-laws. Thanks for playing.

I’m hoping the guys I am hiring work out and we make it across the country in one piece. I’m going to have to leave you on a cliff-hanger though, stay tuned to find out how it all pans out!

Any Lobsters out there have any moving advice for me? 

anything once: being asked if you're having twins

I have been asked three times now if I'm sure I'm not having twins. I realize these people are trying to be funny. They are not funny.


Ways I wish I could respond:
1. "I'm sure. But hey, are YOU having twins?"
2. "You realize that you're basically calling me fat, right? That doesn't seem very nice, does it?" 
3. "Oh, gosh. Maybe. I'm really not sure at this point. I mean, I've been to the doctor approximately 80,000 times now, and they haven't said anything yet, but I haven't really asked."
4. Bursting into tears. (Not because the comment actually makes me want to cry, but because I think it'd be entertaining to freak the person out.)
5. Kicking them in the shins. (Okay, I don't really want to do this. It would hurt my toes.)


Way I do respond:
1. Courtesy laugh. "Gosh, I hope not." Courtesy chuckle. Roll my eyes when they go away.

Jeff is also not having twins.

A lady in my office said today that the only good thing to say to a pregnant woman is "You look good." I said that the best thing to say to a pregnant woman is "Hello." You know, like she's still a normal person or something. But this is just one Lobster's opinion.

Cooking with Zoe: Pork Popper Pasta

I love to cook, but I'm not exactly proficient and I mostly just stick to recipes I find. But last night, I tweaked a recipe in enough ways, that I feel like I kind of created my own dish [though I'm sure others have made something similar enough]. So not to claim originality, but just to share a creation that turned out tasty enough, here it is:

Pork Popper Pasta 

Ingredients:

1/2 lb. pork chop, cut in cubes

4oz. pasta

one bundle of asparagus

1/2 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. pepper

1/2 cup flour

1 egg

3/4 cup bread crumbs or panko

cooking spray

2 Tbs. butter

lemon, sliced

1/2 cup lemon juice

1/2 cup chicken broth (or white wine if preferred)

parmesan cheese

Directions:

1. start boiling water for pasta, cook pasta

2. arrange three bowls: 1-flour, salt, pepper, 2- egg beaten with 1 tablespoon of water, 3-bread crumbs

3. coat cubed pork in bowls based on listed order

4. coat skillet with cooking spray, cook pork on medium high until slightly browned on outside and no longer pink on inside, turning as needed, about 8 minutes

5. wash asparagus, cut off hard ends, cut into bite sized lengths, steam until they reach desired softness

6. remove pork from pan, wipe with paper towel, melt 1 Tbs. butter. Add lemon juice, broth, and lemon slices. bring to boil, then simmer until reduced by half. Add remaining butter and mix until melted.

7. Drain pasta and mix with pork, asparagus, and sauce. Top with lemon slices and parmesan cheese.

Makes 4 servings.

[influence for this recipe taken from Barefoot Contessa at Home: Everyday Recipes You'll Make Over and Over Again, recipe for Chicken Piccata, p.96] 

One way to show your long distance friends that you love them...

is to pay someone to prank call them.

Three Years Ago Today

Three years ago today, I woke up on my sister’s plush green couch and watched Dan in Real Life while enjoying donut holes and orange juice. I went to Happy Nails with some of my favorite friends and had a manicure and pedicure. I ate at Rubio’s for lunch – chicken taquitos, chips, a churro, a big Diet Coke. Delicious.

Three years ago today, I relaxed for a few hours in the nursery of my childhood church. I had my hair done and actually liked how it turned out, and I put on the biggest, whitest dress of my life. Various vital women came and went, providing joy and comfort with their brief visits.

Three years ago today, I stood in the back of the church feeling a little bit nervous, clutching Daddy’s arm. Friends gathered around me and prayed for my future. My boss snuck in late and whispered “hello” and I whispered “you’re fired” and we chuckled and I felt less nervous. My best guy friend told me “this is your moment” and smiled at me before opening the doors to the church.

Photo: Christine Lee Smith
www.clsphotography.com

Three years ago today, I walked down the aisle with a smile pasted to my face while the man I love smiled back and cried. A lot. We remembered Jesus and His example of perfect love with an animal cracker and juice communion. We promised forever, and we meant it, and we immediately told the world about our promise on Facebook.

Three years ago today, we threw the best party I’ve ever attended. We had In-n-Out, a photo booth, a jazz band, colorful homemade desserts, and dancing, dancing, dancing. We dressed up a homely courtyard, filling it with strings of light and people we love. And it was all perfect because I was with my husband, who I love even more today than I did three years ago.

Photo: Christine Lee Smith
www.clsphotography.com

Happy anniversary, Jeffrey Michael!

Movie Review Monday #3

This year on my birthday, my husband wanted to take me to a super nice theater in Hampton called CineBistro. When I say super nice, I mean you have to reserve your leather seat in advance and waiters come and take your order and serve tiny portions of food on oddly shaped, fancy plates before the film starts. Since this is not something we were going to do often, I wanted to pick a good film and really take in the experience. My choices were basically The Adjustment Bureau and Rango, and one of the friends who was coming had already seen the former. 

I was looking forward to Rango for several reasons:

1. Johnny Depp. Yes, he's a bit overrated, but I find him entertaining. (Although, that is no excuse for a fourth Pirates when the second one wasn't even good.)

2. I knew they used an interesting new kind of animation. Something about emotion capture. I don't really remember.

3. It had 89% on Rotten Tomatoes, which I tend to follow blindly. Specifically, Roger Ebert loved it, and I also tend to agree with him. 

My end opinion:

1. Yes, Johnny Depp was entertaining. And his little chameleon character was super cute.

2. The animation was fascinating and there was something new and different about it, though I can't quite put my finger on what that was exactly.

3. It turns out I can disagree with 89% of the movie critics out there - even my beloved Ebert. I was constantly aware of the time and bored to bits with this slow film. I know I missed out on some inside jokes because I've only seen a handful of Westerns, and the majority of the critics mentioned being impressed with all of the Western parodies. The problem is that I loathe Westerns. I find them dismal and hopeless and devoid of humor. (True Grit being a notable exception - loved that.) 

The good news is that the theater served a delicious chocolate raspberry cake that almost held my attention long enough to call it an enjoyable experience.

I give Rango two claws down, Lobsters. And I give Hampton CineBistro two claws up!