anything once: hanging out at bass pro shops

My friend Meredith and I went out for a day o' free fun last Saturday, including a trip to a farm where we met this sheep:

He's behind the fence on the right. He was kind of creepy, hence Eiley's obvious apprehension.

And saw these babies:

There are few things I like more in life than a paddling of ducklings.

Then we headed over to Bass Pro Shops. We found this to be a fascinating anthropological study of redneckitude. It was pretty fun! Top seven things to do at Bass Pro:


1. Head over to the archery section and pretend to be Katniss, obviously.
2. Count rednecks. I only got up to seven and then forgot about this little game, but those seven were defined by camouflage t-shirts, unruly facial hair, and intensely sunburnt cheeks. How do you define a redneck? (Please, keep Foxworthy quotes to a none.)
3. Marvel at the products I never knew existed, such as a Gorilla Treestand, which I thought had something to do with hunting gorillas at first glance.
4. Wonder at the amount of products gathered in one place that I would never purchase, such as this fish koozie that Meredith is modeling:

She almost makes that look good. Almost.

5. Ponder an existence in which one purchases their wardrobe from Bass Pro Shops. Specifically, consider this fictional conversation: "I love your shirt, it's so cute!" "Hey, thanks! I got it at Bass Pro. It was hanging between a bin of meal worms and a bear carcass." 
6. Avoid getting sprayed by the skunk in the jewelry section.

Seriously, Bass Pro Display people? Seriously?

7. Watch the fish in the huge aquarium get fed. This, by the way, was the original reason we came to the store. They have a 19,000 gallon aquarium with a bunch of large fish (I'd tell you what kind but I want to keep that a mystery for you...or I don't know what they were), and it was pretty cool to see them all swarming around trying to get the food. 


In conclusion, this is a first I'd like to repeat because someday I hope to be rich and live a life of leisure that includes having my own personal archery range on my sprawling estate. So I'll be needing supplies.