My dream job is to be a regular on Saturday Night Live. I don't plan on doing anything about that. Stand up and improv - skills that are required to wiggle your way onto the show - terrify me, and I couldn't do a recognizable celebrity impersonation if my life depended on it. I still think I'd be pretty great at scripted sketches though. Maybe. Who knows.
Anyway, my only slightly more attainable dream job is to write novels for preteens. I see the books in the Young Adult section at Barnes and Noble, and I seriously feel ill. They all seem to have sex, drugs, and rampant cursing. And when they don't have those things, they are just poorly written. The majority also have vampires, but I am not totally opposed to vampires - they just tend to fall into the two prior categories of smuttitude or sad examples of "literature." My dream is to write good, moral Young Adult Fiction.
So now you're either thinking "Why not just do it?" or "Screw you, Twilight
is awesome."
To the first group of people, I'll tell you why. I struggle with plot and ending. I can build fairly strong characters, but then I don't know what they should do. I have come up with several stories, but I don't know how any of them end. I know the best remedy for this is to sit down and write, write, write and see what comes out of my fingers, but I don't know how to find the energy to do that. I love to write when I know what I'm writing. But writing nothingness to get to somethingness is exhausting. Does anyone relate to this? I also wonder if it's even possible to entertain today's young adults with anything other than sex, drugs, cursing, and poorly written vampires. I hope it's possible - I just don't know. They don't even sell Babysitter's Club in stores anymore. And apparently the twins from Sweet Valley High
are all grown up, and they're kind of hussies. Not cool.
To the second group of people, I read all four Twilight books. While reading, I constantly cringed at the cliches and the multitude of ways she described Edward's hotness and the amount of times Bella was sullen and melancholy. And yet I could not put the stupid books down. However, just because it was addictive does not mean it was well-written.
I've also dreamed of owning a small business - a book store or art shop or a candy store. Anyone want to finance me?
What's your dream job, Lobsters?
All right, Lobsters. In this post, I will try to get you to watch one of my favorite films of all time, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There are about a hundred reasons you should watch it, but I'll limit myself to the top 10.
10. It's a mecca of 90s awesomeness - the clothes, the fact that Luke Perry (aka Dylan McKay) is the lead actor, a quote that references Christian Slater as a heart throb, the music (yes, Toad the Wet Sprocket, yes!), and the intense stereotype of a "valley girl."
9. Joss Whedon wrote it. He is the brilliance behind Firefly and Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, among other things. He's hilarious.
8. Paul Reubens plays a vampire, which seems a way more appropriate role for him than Pee-Wee.
7. Ben Affleck has a cameo. Actually, Ben Affleck wasn't at all famous then, so he's just an extra. I don't actually love Ben Affleck, but I still find it funny.
6. There's a training montage that lasts about three minutes, after which Buffy is a fully-trained vampire killing machine. Impressive. This one is for my sister, who passionately loves sports montages.
5. I loved the TV show too, and Sarah Michelle Gellar was a good Buffy, but Kristy Swanson was the original, and she was a stronger fighter and just as funny.
4. Buffy's parents are amazing. They stay out late, don't care what Buffy does, forget her boyfriend's name, and say things like "Kiss noise!" as they're leaving.
3. Three words: yellow leather jacket. Yeah.
2. Future Academy Award winner Hilary Swank says the line, "Get out of my facial." She's come so far.
1. It's better in every way than Twilight. Twilight can suck it. Pun intended.
Two claws up, lobsters! Go rent it today.
