anything once: making an indoor play tent

My mom is addicted to Pinterest. If she hears an interesting quote in real life, she thinks about which of her boards she could pin it on. She has 52 boards and 1409 pins, and I've mocked her more than once for her addiction. However, she also discovers such fun ideas, like making an indoor play tent for Eiley's room! 

We decided a few Saturdays ago to move full force on this idea, and we headed over to Hobby Lobby. I absolutely hate to admit how much I like that store. I mean, they play muzak versions of CCM. On one trip there I endured an instrumental version of Michael W. Smith's "Place in this World" played entirely on sax and synthesizer. So basically the place is like a giant Christian elevator filled with craft and decorating supplies, but I can't deny that it's magical. My mom and I went without a firm plan on how we'd create the tent (how hard could it be, right?), and we walked straight over to the fabric section where there was...a free pamphlet with ideas on how to make indoor play tents. What?! MAGICAL. 

Steps to creating a play tent:

1. Purchase super cute fabric. Guys. I actually used the Pythagorean Theorem to figure out how much fabric we'd need. I still had that in my head from Geometry, which was in my sophomore year of high school. Please at least pretend to be impressed (except you, Manny. You may say something like "pshaw" and return to being a genius). Anyway, to make a tent that was 5 feet tall and 5 feet wide, we'd need a little less than 4 yards of fabric. 

2. Purchase 4" wide ribbon, at least 4 yards.

3. Purchase embroidery thread and needles and an optional fancy threader thing to make threading the needle easier.

4. Purchase wooden dowel. We chose one that was about 3 feet long and 3/4 inch in diameter. The diameter isn't super important, as long as it's strong enough to hold the weight of the fabric.

5. Sew the ribbon onto the edge of the fabric so it has a bit of a finished look. We did this by hand, which was the only time consuming part of this process and wasn't totally necessary. We watched some fun movies though, so it didn't really matter.

Shhh...she's concentrating!

6. Cut two holes at the center of the fabric, where you plan to hang the tent.

7. Wrap ribbon under wooden dowel and through the holes in the fabric.

8. Affix something to the ceiling in two places that correspond with the ribbon locations. My husband used something that enabled him to screw a metal hoop into our ceiling.

9. Tie the two ribbons to the hoops or secure them to the ceiling some other way.

10. Attach the sides of the tent however you choose! I thumbtacked one side to the wall, then used Eiley's crib to hold the other side down. You could also use carpet tacks or think of something else.

11. We hung string lights over the tent for some extra lighting in there, added a couple pillows and a cushy blanket as a carpet, and voila! Awesomeness.

This was a success (even though I admit I've been enjoying the tent more than Eiley)! And, of course, you can find it on my mom's Pinterest board, "we saw, we pinned, we DID."

Our Romantic Fifth Anniversary

Jeff and I celebrated our fifth anniversary on Friday. Well, I use the term "celebrated" loosely. We did meet up at Rubio's on his lunch break for about 45 minutes. We also had dinner together for about 30 minutes before he went to perform in a production of "The Matchmaker" in Hollywood. He brought me flowers, I wrote him an epic card. Doesn't sound terribly romantic, does it? Well, let me tell you about romance. 

The day after our anniversary, Jeff helped me prepare for a party I was throwing that evening. He cleaned the house and took care of our toddler while I ran errands, then he assisted in arranging tables and thought through seating for me. I didn't ask him to do any of that, especially since it was for a bridal shower that he obviously wasn't going to attend. He just offered. That's romance.

The day after that, I came down with a mystery illness that left me shivering in bed, crying for no apparent reason other than miserable aches. He gave me medication, held me to warm me up, and didn't even call me a wuss when I cried. That's romance.

The day after that, I was still sick and he came home from work with the worst migraine ever. He laid on the couch, and I took off his shoes and put his feet up for him. Romance.

Once his Excedrin kicked in he felt better, but I was still sick so he prepared soup for my dinner. Romance.

In the midst of all this, our Internet stopped working, and like a freaking genius I pushed the reset button on our router. Apparently that put everything back to factory settings, which meant we had no clue what our password was because we changed it from the original back in October. I am ashamed to admit I'd done this once before many months ago, but somehow forgot about that ordeal and did it a second time. Instead of telling me I'm an idiot (which would have been accurate), Jeff just sat down and fixed it. It probably took a couple hours, but he was so calm about it. ROMANCE.

We're going to get away some time next month to celebrate in a happier, more traditionally romantic way, but I'm proud of the solid marriage that Jeff and I have even when life isn't all a shiny, fairytale romance. I'm grateful to be married to such a wonderful man, and I'm pleased to team up with him for better or worse.

Engagement picture by Chris Humphreys

Too easily pleased

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”


― C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses

anything once: ikea hacking a children's table and chairs

I've been wanting to get a children's table and chairs for Eiley's room - something her size on which she could color, play with her tea set, have snacks, etc. All I could find were super expensive ones, ugly plastic ones, and this $20 one from Ikea:

Kind of makes you want to fall over from boredom, right? Well, I figured it would be easy to paint it and make it more exciting. I did a bunch of research and saw that I would be the 293877th person to refurbish the set. You can find my favorite versions of it here, here, and here. So basically I took all that research and used what I thought would be the best (read: easiest) components of each version to come up with my own. Here's a step by step of the process I used, though I recommend making it your own:

1. Purchase Latt set from Ikea. 
2. Purchase laminate cotton from discount fabric store. They only had three options for laminate cotton where I went, so I chose the least hideous. If you plan ahead (I don't like to do that in life), you can find a ton of options online. You'll need half a yard.
What I chose:

Find it here or at Jenny's Fabrics in Huntington Beach

What I'd have preferred, but whatever:

Find it here

3. Purchase paint and spray adhesive from Home Depot. I bought two pots of sample paint with primer. One pot would be more than enough to do two coats on this set, but I opted to do some embellishments in a second color.
4. Put baby to bed and turn on a terrible CW show on Netflix. I chose Revenge.
5. Lay down a giant plastic bag. Wouldn't want to get any paint on the floor! 
6. Take parts out of Ikea box. Paint them. No need to sand since this set comes unfinished. I do recommend priming if you get inefficient non-primer paint. Things should start to look like this:

7. Cut the fabric to perfectly fit the tops of the tables and chairs. Adhesive spray the dickens out of the fiberboard and glue the fabric to them. 
8. Using masking tape, leave space to paint a stripe on the bottom of each leg of furniture. 
9. Pick up pot of accent paint.
10. Since you didn't secure the top of the paint when you opened it earlier, accidentally drop open pot of paint all over couch and self.
11. Take off clothes so you don't get paint everywhere else in the room. 
12. Swear like a well-mannered sailor.  
13. Run around downstairs scrubbing couch cushions, shirt, and jeans in the sink and washing machine. 
14. Think about crying but laugh instead. Hey, there's no paint on the floor!
15. Put on PJs and perch on the end of the couch since the cushions are drying in the kitchen. Paint those accents because all that needs to be worth it, good grief.
16. Assemble table and chairs. Jeff helped with this since he had returned from rehearsal toward the end of step 15 and I looked like something had attacked me.
17. Remove masking tape. 

Voila! Only 17 steps and 4.5 episodes of Revenge to get to this masterpiece:

Children's Books Take Six: More

I have realized I go through binging phases. I get really excited about a thing, over-do it a bit, and then don't touch it with a ten foot pole for ages. I think I did that with picture books awhile back. Today, I binged again. We piled up with as many books as our stroller could carry back. And I found a gem. Have you read the book, More, by I. C. Springman, that just came out in 2012?

If the answer is no, get to your local bookstore or library and change your answer to yes. This is a lovely book, sparsely texted, appropriate to its theme of countering excess.  A magpie gets carried away collecting too much stuff, and some kind mice help him undo his disaster. I love a book that is rich enough to be enjoyed on multiple levels. Not only is it a sweet story of hoarding and learning to cut back, it is a story of sharing and cooperation and generosity. I hope you'll enjoy it too! And in the spirit of the book, I needn't say any more. 

Dear Sofia, Happy 2nd Birthday

Dear Sofia,

A year ago, I reflected on our life together regularly and wrote about it on this blog. But in the past several months, our lives have been so full together, it has been hard to find space to stop and consider who you are becoming and who we are becoming together. But today, on your second birthday, I want to hit pause for a moment and let myself revel in the wonderful "little lady" you have come to be.

I can't seem to stop from staring at a collection of photos from your first year lately. I barely recognize that baby, you've changed so much. You have hair now, you're several inches taller, and you're a little girl, not even a toddler, certainly not a baby at all.

Sofia this time last year = cute santa baby

Our little lady now

A year ago, I told you, you were a woman who knew what she wanted. Now you are a woman who can tell us, very clearly, exactly what she wants, how she wants it, and how she feels when she doesn't get it. Watching your language explode this year has been the most shocking, marvelous delight. 

For a few months there, you put up a strike on saying names. Instead, you would refer to people as, "the green girl who is happy." If I quizzed you about a person to see if you actually knew what names referred to which people, you could indeed tell me that Kelly drives a "white van," and Theresa drives a "red car." You knew their names (and all sorts of other details about them!), you just refused to speak them. 

Just about a week ago, you finally gave up the strike and have so much to tell us about all of your friends. "Charlie says 'yes! yes!'" and "You do sing songs with Lili at the library," and "You did grab from Hazel." Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, while you are amazingly verbal, you speak all sentences as if from my perspective. The pronouns can get very confusing. "I do want some coffee" you exclaim with vigor, as I respond with serious concern, before I realize, you know just how much Mama needs her caffeine in the morning. 

You are richly empathetic. When I cough, you gaze at me with compassion and suggest I get some tea. When you see that someone you love adores you, you scamper over to give them a kiss. When you see that someone is sad, you rush to give them a hug. In fact, you take such joy in cheering people up, that you regularly request that Daddy and I draw you a crying child, just so that you can grab that paper to your chest to hug the boy or girl, "Now he is happy," you resolve as you go about your own doodling. Indeed.

Entering into the world of toddler arts and crafts has been one of the most fun experiences of my motherhood. You are getting so good at coloring in (and around) shapes, you can draw up, down, left, right, and a slanted line from top left to bottom right, though the inverted slant seems to throw you for a loop. You'll figure it out in time. For some reason, seeing you achieve the ability to draw circles round and round gives me particular happiness. You are becoming quite adept at using a glue stick. You glued all of our Jesse Tree ornaments together for me with amazing focus and determination, nearly all in one sitting. We also love to finger paint. You love for me to cover your whole hand with a color so that you can make prints all over your page. You had great fun making hand print salt dough ornaments as gifts for Christmas. Though Mommy learned a little lesson about doing two "dough" activities back to back this Christmas season. When we made ornaments only one day after having used the same cookie cutters to make cookies, it became nearly impossible to explain to you that ornaments were not to be eaten. 

A year ago, I told you that your favorite color was "blue circle" because of a particular block you were obsessed with. Now, I see such passion for beauty that I don't know that you could pick a favorite color (though I've seen some consistent leanings towards green, which may of course be my own bias for that color), much less a favorite creature, or flower, or even food. 

A year ago, I told your pediatrician that getting you to eat solid foods was one of the banes of my existence. We could barely keep you in your high chair long enough to keep your weight from dropping below the 5th percentile. Yesterday, we said goodbye to that high chair all together and promoted you to a booster seat. You are eager to try colorful curries and exotic noodles and steaming soups, as long as you are informed of what you are eating, and prefer your foods dissected and separated. I don't doubt this is a temporary blissful little phase where you are willing to try new things, but I'm enjoying it while I can. And of course, just because you'll try it, doesn't mean you will eat it in great quantity, or in efficient time. I recently let you eat some granola and clocked you at a 3-5 minute per oat rate of consumption. I about lost my mind with impatience. Now I'm the one who is eager to get you out of your seat, instead of the other way around. 

You still love your Christmas snoopy, and this year you even figured out how to turn him on yourself. You love to dance any chance you get, be it with Auntie Nina in the kitchen, with Mommy in the playroom, with Daddy at each break of the hockey game, or with your stuffed animals along to the music of your birthday card. Your still primarily use the move of bobbing up and down, but now you will often do that while running in circles at the same time. You never fail to make us laugh. 

A year ago, we could barely get you to sit still for the length of a board book, now you can't get enough  of reading. I even started in on a Winnie the Pooh chapter book the other day and you stayed cozy in my arms for the length of a whole chapter. That is my bliss. You made us read Richard Scarry's "Best Friends" about Huckle Cat's birthday so many times (nearly every time we put you to sleep - that's twice per day for months on end), that I felt I had no choice to throw you a Huckle and Lowly birthday party today. I sewed you your own Huckle and Lowly dolls, and though the stitches are all showing, his overall straps do not match up, and he looks like he has crazy eyes, you grabbed him to your chest and said, "you love him!" and that made my day. 

Not only will you let us read your Bible stories to you now, but you have memorized most of the words for yourself and can recite them aloud to us. You also say many of the words in the Lord's prayer along with us at bedtime. You pray for birds, for squirrels searching for acorns, for the sun, for Big Mama and Big Papa, for Grandma and Grandpa, Auntie Nina and Tio Eddie, for your friends, for people you've seen who are sad, for people who have shown you love, for food that you like, for pain that you don't. It is inspiring to see you learning to pray. 

After preparing for Christmas through the advent season by reading various parts of the Christmas story, we attended a service at our church where they read and sang songs that walked through the whole story together. We were amazed at your engagement with the service, your interest in what was being said, your comprehension and ability to join in with what you knew of the narrative. Hearing you say, "Immanuel means God is with us" is a sweet gift for Daddy and me. One of the sweetest hours of my life was spent watching you play pretend with the characters in our manger scene. I hope these are the first of many steps you take in walking closer to Jesus. 

We have been trying to introduce you to God. We recognize that everyone is doing spiritual parenting, it's just a question of how you're doing it. We're trying to be intentional. We tell you about how God loves us, how He is with us, how powerful and compassionate He is. We think we have a lot to teach you. But then you come back with questions or statements of complicated theological musings that we don't always have answers for. We love that you challenge us, and we hope we'll always be able to admit that we don't have all of the answers, we hope you'll make sure we always keep searching for truth and seeking to know God more fully through His son, Jesus. You once asked me, "Where is Heaven? You will look for it." Amen and Amen.  

I never knew a child could exhibit so much amazingness. I never knew another human being could make my heart feel so very full. You inspire my heart to love God more. Sometimes at the meal table, you will reach your arms out to either side to draw Daddy and I in to one big family hug. You give Daddy and I such delight that we can't help but love each other more dearly. We still go bed every night, gazing at pictures of you. This is what it means for a heart to fill to overflowing. I continue to be undeserving of you, my sweet. Your birth and your life continue to be one of the greatest gifts I've ever been fortunate enough to receive. 

I love you bunches and tons, tons and bunches! Happy Second Birthday Sofia Arabella! 

Love,

Mommy

Fear of Creating a Christmas Monster

In case you hadn't noticed, it is Christmas time. Last year, Christmas was stressful because we traveled to see both of our families [one in Texas, one in California]. This year, still recovering from last year, we said no travel. This year, I'm under pressure of an entirely different sort.

As far as Sofia was concerned, Christmas wasn't too big of an issue last year. She got buried in gifts, which she loved, but the event itself didn't much sink in. Now, we are approaching the first Christmas where Sofia will be aware enough to develop some expectations for next year. This has been freaking me out. 

I watched videos after Halloween of parents pranking their kids, pretending that they'd eaten all the trick-or-treat spoils. Those kids melted down like it was an Apocolypse. It was then I started worrying about the precedent I'd be setting for Sofia this Christmas. And sure enough, as we walked the isles at Target a couple of weeks ago, she was grabbing at every toy on the shelf shouting, "I want that! What is that? I want that!" Those toy makers sure know their market. Oyvey. 

I can still remember the joy I felt at discovering that Christmas was a season of giving. When I was old enough to have a little allowance, I could save up and then go shop for presents for my family and friends. It was so much fun that it began to outweigh the fun of receiving gifts. And so as I approach Sofia's first memorable-Christmas, that was the joy I wanted to teach her. I wanted her to know that God gave us the greatest gift, His own Son, and so we too give gifts to others to follow His example and show our gratitude to God. 

And we're doing activities to try to teach her about giving. She participated in Operation Christmas Child with our church, she's making crafted presents for our family members, today she decorated a cookie as a gift for Daddy, etcetera.  

But I don't want to give her zero presents. Heaven knows I can't hold the grandparents back [nor do I really want to, they come up with great stuff that I couldn't afford to provide her]. How does one lavish love and supply excitement without creating an entitled brat? I was coming up short on an answer to this question. 

. . . until today, when I heard this quote from Brennan Manning:

"The Kingdom belongs to people who aren’t trying to look good or impress anybody, even themselves.  They are not plotting how they can call attention to themselves, worrying about how their actions will be interpreted or wondering if they will get gold stars for their behavior.  Twenty centuries later, Jesus speaks pointedly to the preening ascetic trapped in the fatal narcissism of spiritual perfectionism, to those of us caught up in boasting about our victories in the vineyard, to those of us fretting and flapping about our human weaknesses and character defects.  The child doesn’t have to struggle to get himself in a good position for having a relationship with God; he doesn’t have to craft ingenious ways of explaining his position to Jesus; he doesn’t have to create a pretty face for himself; he doesn’t have to achieve any state of spiritual feeling or intellectual understanding.  All he has to do is happily accept the cookies: the gift of the Kingdom."

- Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel, copyright 1990, 2008, page 53

I'm not sure Brennan was thinking of Christmas when he wrote it, but I was. I was decorating Christmas cookies, wondering how many I'd let Sofia eat when she got up from her nap (or lack there of, because I let her eat one this morning and that seems to have been enough sugar to last her through the rest of advent). But I think it gets at a piece of Christmas I've been forgetting about for years, or a piece I've maybe never grasped at all. Yes, Christmas is a season for giving. AND it is also a season for receiving. Accept those cookies. Accept those gifts. Accept THE gift. It made me think of a passage I've been meditating on lately, that talks about Christmas, children, and receiving:

John 1:

⁹ The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world.¹⁰ He was in the world, and though the world was made through him,the world did not recognize him. ¹¹ He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. ¹² Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— ¹³ children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

The tragedy in the story of the life of Christ is that He was not RECEIVED. And for those who did [do] not receive, they pass[ed] up the right to become CHILDREN of God. 

There is an art to receiving. I think I often do not do it well. I am too often un-gracious and ungrateful of my gifts. But I can be working on that. And if it's taking me this long, it probably couldn't hurt starting to teach Sofia now a thing or two about how to receive well. We can start with receiving Christmas gifts, with delighting in the excitement of unwrapping something new, with showing appreciation and value for the giver. And as we get that discipline down, maybe we will prepare her little heart to receive the gift of Christ, the gift of New Life, with reverence, with gratitude, with humble honor and affection for the giver. 

The giver of all good gifts doesn't just need us to be givers. First of all, He needs us to be recipients.