I heart Delta

A while back, I posted one of my few negative blogs here, ranting and raving about how horrible my travel experience was over Christmas. I figure it is only fair to be similarly expressive about my opposite experience.

This past week, we flew to and from Texas. But this time, I flew Delta and had a lovely experience (only further solidifying my opinion that Continental has gone to pot, thanks to United. sorry. done ranting.).

I went into this flight more terrified than any other flight in my life. I was traveling with Sofia SOLO for the first time ever. She, squirmy, wriggling, active toddler that she is, was to sit in my lap for a total of four flights, all at least two hours long. Feeling sorry for us both yet?

But you know what? A good flight attendant can make a world of difference. Once upon a time, I was pregnant, quite pregnant, bulging pregnant, and when I politely asked a stewardess to help me lift my bag into the overhead bin. She full on scowled at me and told me that was not her job. I apologized and explained, in case she just thought I was really fat and lazy, that I was pregnant, and instructed not to lift heavy things. She told me I should have thought of that when I was packing. Eesh. Thank heavens, she was not on this recent flight.

Instead, I got Barbara. Barbara admired my child. Barbara snuck special treats under a blanket, so other passengers wouldn't get jealous, back to my child to keep her ears from popping from the pressure. Barbara disposed of my child's dirty diaper for me. Barbara entertained my child just when she was about to get too squirmy for me to handle, so that instead, my child sat sweetly in my lap. I love Barbara.

And you know what else? Turns out that when a flight is facilitated by wonderful employees who make everyone feel well served and cared for, even your fellow passengers are nicer to you. Despite my baby kicking our neighbors, pulling on their seat backs, or interrupting their reading by trying to say hi while she ran down the isles (ok, that last one was pretty cute), they wouldn't even accept my apologies. I tried to apologize in advance of the flight to the man sitting next to me that it'd been a long day for both of us, and I would do my best to contain her, but she was tired of being cooped up all day. His response? "Well then it has been a hard day for you, and the last thing you need to worry about is what anyone else thinks." I nearly cried, it was so kind.

Then on the last leg of our travel, quite sick with a nasty cold, after having only two hours of sleep the night before, the pressure started to get to my ears worse than its been in over two decades. God was gracious and had made Sofia sleep through pretty much the entire flight up until that point, and even through most of the landing process. But as tears streamed down my face and I did all I could to stay still so as not to disturb my sleeping girl on my chest, I began to draw some attention through apparently agonizing facial expressions. The women across the isle became fully distraught that I was uncomfortable. My seat neighbor, kind gentlemen, was trying to figure out what he could do to help, and every single stewardess on the flight surrounded me, attempting to find a way to rescue me. But the sweetest moment? All the hubbub woke my child. She sat up, turned around, saw the tears on my face, and with troubled concern in her own eyes, she wrapped her arms around me and while giving me a nice long hug, she said, "Mama, love." And then she went back to sleep. I would almost go through everything about that flight all over again just to experience that moment a second time. Almost. Not really though.

So thank you to Barbara, and the kind stewards and stewardesses of Delta Airlines. And thank you to anyone reading this who has ever extended a little extra patience, kindness, snacks, or entertainment to a Mama with a child on a flight. God bless your compassion! Thank you, my sweet Sofia, for being the best traveler your could be at 18 months, and for loving your Mama. 

Sofia Visits Vermont

In about 90% of our first introductions to people who live here in Maine, they advise us to plan a getaway for Spring Break so that we can escape the snow that will by that point in the year be driving us crazy. So naturally, for our Spring Break, I arranged a visit to Vermont.


It sounds unintelligent I'm sure, but after we had so much trouble traveling around Christmas, I was not excited about getting back on a plane with a toddler. In a more positive light, it seemed to me that what would bother me most about winter was how insular the community becomes because of how much trouble it is to get out of your house. It seemed that as much as the sunlight, what I would be needing was time with friends.


Once upon a time, when we lived in Berkeley, we were being friendly greeter types at church and met a couple named Erick and Faith. Being that my legal name is Erica Faith, I was able to overcome my chronic name forgetting disease when it came to these two, and we were able to become friends.


Over the years, these two have become five (they have had three beautiful girls) and our paths have found even more overlaps. Faith and I were both Executive Officers of Project Peace. Granted, my role was merely to satisfy a blank for a 501c3 application form, and she actually did lead the organization for real. Faith and I are both into photography too, though again, she actually has an MA and I just dabble. Manny and Erick were PhD students at Berkeley at the same time. Our youngest children first met at my baby shower when they were still in our bellies. Manny and Erick both got their first positions as professors in the Northeast in the same year. And Faith has also been getting more into writing for her own blog, The Pickle Patch. (We've decided it has something to do with the effect of snowy winters.) So now that we're basically neighbors, we couldn't pass up a chance to reconnect with these long distance friends and compare notes about our parallel journeys.


I can't say that the travel was all smooth sailing. Over the several hours in the car, Sofia expressed a wide range of emotions:

But after driving, literally, over the river(s) and through the woods, we made it there and back in one piece. And most importantly, we had a great time while we were there. Vermont is like one big idyllic photo opportunity: green mountains, old barns with stallions rustling their mane, rivers trickling down rocks and through mossy banks, old historic steeples piercing the sky line. It is so close to Maine, and yet it feels so distinct in topography that it seems to have its own shape of character. And as for escaping the snow, it was in the 70's-80's the whole time we were there. We even got uncomfortably hot playing at a playground. So as illogical as my plan was, it totally worked out on all counts!


It was great to catch up with friends from what seems like a previous life. Renewing those bonds and digging them deeper feels good for the soul in growing those relationships, but it also brought to memory other old friends from that season, how much they meant to us, how much we miss them, who and how we are because of how they've impacted us. It becomes a full fledged renewing of the love of a whole community. Dear other-old-Berkeley friends, I miss you! 


Furthermore, Sofia got a taste of what life would be like with a gaggle of sisters. This family is raising three daughters with a sparkling sense of imagination that is integrated into every moment of their day. It made me think of the book, Philosophical Baby by Alison Gopnik [a Berkeley professor incidentally], which speaks of the importance of imaginary friends/play as a child's beginning abilities to conceive of other possible universes (a bit of what we adults were also experiencing as our journeys are so similar, and yet so different), which is a key building block to skills like problem solving. It is a phase ahead of where Sofia and I are right now, but it was precious to witness and so sweet of her girls to do their best to include Sofia in this play. 

In addition to fun with friends, the time away gave us opportunity to have some time as a family, which was particularly appreciated after Manny had been away for a week for work. I can't ever seem to get enough of the site of my husband with my child, happy in play together. 

As you can see in that final shot, this was all so much fun that it even maxed out Sofia's seemingly endless supply of energy. Perhaps that might have also had a little something to do with the one night when Sofia was up for three hours? Sorry again, friends! But despite the challenge of hosting a family with a toddler in the midst of mid-terms and preschool and a very full life, these friends were amazingly gracious, thoughtful, and warm hosts. We are looking forward to spending time with them in Maine someday soon. 

Why traveling with a toddler might be worth it

Santa Baby.

Ok, I got my ranting out of my system last week. Traveling with Sofia after she's learned to walk was not the most fun. But the point wasn't to spend the holidays on planes or on the phone with customer service, the point was to be with family, as long distance as they all may be. And that mission was definitely accomplished. Here are a few snapshots of why all that trouble might have been worth it:

Sofia gets to play with cousin Gus. Much love.

Sofia learns to play patty-cake with great-grandmother, Gee.

Sofia getting a blocks building lesson
from carpenter great-grandfather, Daddoo.

Sofia in intense study of pretty bells with great-grandmother, Grammy.

Sofia entertains the man (great-grandfather, Grandpa)
who supposedly never wants anything to do with babies.

Yep - count 'em, that's four great-grandparents Sofia got to bond with. Pretty blessed aren't we?

Sofia wearing one of four Christmas outfits
for one of four Christmas gatherings.

A glittery birthday lunch. 

Wintery walk with Big and Big Mama.

Quiet reading of "I like you" by Auntie Nina (Lauren). 

Cousin Eric teaching Sofia how to blow out birthday candles.

Birthday fro-yo.

Amazing birthday decor, made by Auntie Nina with so much love.

Gobbling Texas-sheet-birthday-cake, expertly made by Auntie Nina.

Office tour by Grandma.

To sum it up, that's four great-grandparents, four grandparents, one aunt, one uncle, two cousins, four Christmas gatherings, four birthday celebrations, four cities, seven planes, and one very happy and blessed baby girl.

United COO is falling asleep at the wheel or: why never to travel with a toddler, even though it's free

Portland, ME > Houston, TX; Houston, TX > Ontario, CA; Ontario, CA > Portland, ME. Fifteen days, four cities, three weary travelers. Just days after Sofia was able to stand up and walk confidently on her own, we confined her to our laps for torturous travel across the entire country, one corner to the next and back.

All things considered, I'm proud of her for staying mostly chipper and for the amazing ability she has to  bless strangers with her friendly smile and engagement. That said, the trek back, the longest journey, was pretty much pure torture. Here is my evidence that the COO of United has really dropped the ball in actually merging their company with Continental, taking our money without delivering anything but a big old headache.

1) Flight schedule changed. It happens, I realize that. But when you're traveling all day long with a toddler, you have picked your flight schedule with so much thought, care, sweat, and fear, considering napping, feeding, wiggling needs. To login to check in for our flight and see that our very long day was going to be made even longer by a few hours was a big stress.

2) Hanging up on customers calling into customer service. Multiple times in a row. Attempting to change our flight schedule to something more amenable, we got all manner of excuses related to downed computers and lack of digital integration across Continental and United and it took all day to get a better flight, for which they could not even provide us with actually boarding passes.

3) Giving one passenger boarding passes for all three flights, only getting the other passenger to the first of three destinations. It's one thing if the two airlines can't communicate to print each other's boarding passes, but why one person's and not the others?

4) Giving your infant a boarding pass for only one of three flights for your travel. Call me crazy, but I'd like to keep her with me for the whole trip, if that's ok with you. I kinda like her.

5) Flight attendants being full out rude to stressed out mothers. Add to that that I'd been up since 4am and had been up with Sofia twice in the night, I didn't need that woman's tude. Unprofessional.

6) Whizzing down airplane isles so fast that nursing mothers do not have time to move their sleeping babies head from the path of the food cart. Oops, hope I didn't give her a concussion. ?!?!

7) Forcing parents to board a plane and sit there for an hour trying to keep their toddler calmed and contained, only to declare a mechanical failure and de-boarding the plane, making them do it all over again. That's right people, four planes in one day with a one year old. Aren't you jealous?

8) Losing tired, strung out family's luggage, including the car seat the baby is legally required to travel home in.

9) Returning family's luggage, but only after having stolen a few Christmas gifts and baby's first birthday presents out of the bags - cause, you know, they deserved a tip after all the trouble they'd been going through for us all day.

10) Giving angered customers run around on customer service line yet again, claiming problems with the merger. Yeah, I got that, the merger is a headache for us all friends. And it was over a year ago. About time to get your act together.

Yes I did cry through one of these entire flights. But Sofia also did me the graceful act of sleeping through another one of the four legs. Still, I may never fly again. United has ruined what was once a wonderful airline with exemplary customer service (Continental). But to keep this from being nothing but rant, I would like to turn to another company that should serve as an example to these nincompoops as to how to handle customers properly: Amazon.

Kindle has trouble connecting to whisper net. I log onto Amazon.com to find customer support. I'm directed to focus my problem so they can give me the right number. They have me enter my phone number in. Within seconds, my phone rings. I have not had to call, I have not waited on hold, I have not had to enter in any information about myself. The representative knows me by name, knows all my account information, knows the problem I am having and immediately jumps into trouble shooting with me. Once we determine it's really not working, and I'm not just incompetent, he's already jumping into sending me a brand new Kindle [mine was two years old], free shipping, next day, only $40. Its shiny and new and I'm pumped and the entire call took a total of 20 minutes of my valuable time. Gold Stars and Two Claws up Amazon, you rock my world. Will you please provide some tutorials to United?