Grace and gratitude

We'd had a rough morning. Honestly, it was a rough morning after a rough two and a half weeks. The morning was an exhibit in some of my less superior moments as a mother. Let's just say it was me who ended up getting the time out punishment this time. One thing that made it especially difficult was the rain that was keeping us trapped inside. So as soon as some sun broke through, it was like a race to see which one of us could bolt to the door first. 

We headed out for a nice long walk along a creek and through a neighborhood. Even with the sun, fresh air, and cool breeze, Sofia was still fussy and frustrated with me. But we powered through. The walking helped me to take lots of nice deep breaths. 

As we pulled back up to our driveway, I noticed our neighbor, Nan, across the street out gardening and we stopped over to say a quick hello. Perhaps the accountable eye of a non-mommy-person helped quiet Sofia's irritability, because she became still, calm, and alert. With things finally running smoothly, the quick hello evolved into a relaxing little visit in Nan's garden, where Sofia got to help do some digging, weeding, and general floral admiring. There were new trees, tiny birds, and more colors and flowers than Sofia had probably ever seen before, all in a shaded welcoming environment. It was just what we both needed. 

After a while, we bid farewell to Nan and headed back home for lunch. I sat Sofia in her high chair and busied myself in the kitchen getting our food together. Still in a bit of a tizzy, I sat down with her and started to feed her some food. But she stopped, clasped her little hands together, and said, "God." She halted me in my little whirlwind of culinary stress to remind me pray. This is the beautiful thing about creating family rituals, she holds me to it even when I forget! 

And so I said, 

"Oh yes, Sofia! Thank you. We SHOULD pray. What shall we thank God for?"

"Cracker"

"Oh, ok. We'll thank God for crackers. What else would you like to thank God for?"

"Nan"

I couldn't have said it better myself. Daddy got us some yummy crackers this week, we were both very thankful for them. And Nan really was our rescue that morning. 

"Dear God, thank you so much for these yummy crackers and for all our food. And thank you, God, for our wonderful neighbor, Nan, and for the lovely time we had in her beautiful garden together. You placed such great neighbors into our lives and we are very grateful. Amen."

And there it was. Our day officially turned around one hundred eighty degrees, not just by Nan, but by the moment where Sofia helped us to show gratitude to God for Nan. After that, we were able to get along so much better, show so much more affection for each other, communicate our needs to each other so much more clearly. Sofia helped me to embrace an opportunity for heart change. 

Dear God, 

Thank you for blessing me with a little girl who reminds me and teaches me to be a more grateful person.

Amen.

Eating with Zoe: Good Gifts

I have been thinking lately about how thoroughly my mother has spoiled me with her supreme gift giving skills. It makes me feel like I can never give anyone else a proper gift, because it just can't measure up to her success. I realized her gifts provide three key components:


1) Something the receiver will get excited about and enjoy making good use of


2) Something that communicates her personal relationship with that person, that she knows them well


3) Something that creates an exciting experience that lasts for a long time as a special memory


That means I've gotten lots of good gifts in my day, and am also always disappointed with myself when I give to others, because the bar in my mind is so high. One might think that this is fairly doable for a mother give such things to a child when they're growing up. But as I considered even that caveat, I realized that since I've left home, there have still been amazing gifts from her. The ones that really stuck out in my mind all had to do with food, surprise surprise. So since that's a bit of a theme for me on this blog, and Mother's Day is coming up, I thought it would be fun to publicly thank her for her gifts of love, and share her secrets with you. Even if you're like me and have trouble giving amazing gifts to others, maybe you can just steal her ideas and take all the credit ;)


The Tastebook
Soon after I got married, my mom started peppering me with questions about my favorite recipes she used to make when I was growing up. This is a difficult question because she was so committed to being creative in the kitchen, that there were few dishes she repeated, she was always too busy trying new and fresh recipes. But it turned out that working hard to remember the special ones was worthwhile, because she was putting together a family cookbook. It took her months (in between a full-time job of teaching and everything else her life demanded), but she used TasteBook to pull together all our favorite recipes and add in special photos related to the people or memories associated with each dish, captions included. Not only to I regularly reference that book for all my go-to-comfort foods, but also I treasure it as a bit of our family history as told through food. 


Kitchen on Fire
Manny and I love to eat and cook together. So knowing this, my mom did some research about Berkeley and got us a gift certificate for Kitchen on Fire, a cooking school in the Gourmet Ghetto, the hub of restaurants that grew up around Alice Waters' Chez Panisse in Berkeley. The experience was SO Berkeley! All the food was fresh, local, and ethically impeccable. The class we picked taught us how to cook a full Asian feast of about 8-10 dishes. And the chef that taught the class did not only teach us how to cook the food or what acceptable substitutes to use, but also he taught us all about the chemistry and physics around the cooking process. It was intellectually stimulating and a delight to all our senses. It was such a fun date. We've continued to benefit from both what we learned there and the memory of the fun experience we had together. 


Epicurean Adventure
Each year at Christmas, my mom asks me what "big gift" I am wishing for. I always have so much trouble with this question, because what I would probably like most every year is a huge stack of books that I'll never have enough time to read through, and so will consequently provide more anxiety than joy. Lose-lose. But my mother is a determined one. So with a little tip from Manny, that being rather poor and stingy, I would like to get to eat out somewhere nice, she put together an "Epicurean Adventure." She did loads of research on all the great spots in the Gourmet Ghetto. She got a colorful file folder, decorated the outside and all the inner tabs, and in each slot she put a relevant sum of cash along with the printed out menus of a restaurant. There were options for everything from sit-down meals, gelato, to fun breakfast spots. We discovered all sorts of neat places in back alleys we never would have seen. We got to discover these restaurants in time to return for fun visits ourselves and with visitors (my mom included) from out of town. Soon after that, our church actually bought a building in that same neighborhood, and we were fully informed and prepared to enjoy all the culinary delights in convenient proximity! We made that adventure last for several months and the benefits lasted for years! 


Thanks, Mom, for all these great gifts. Even when you aren't cooking for me on a regular basis, you're making sure I eat so very well, and feel so very loved! 


Lobsters, what are some great food related gifts you've given or received? 

Eating with Zoe: The Coffee Shop Edition

or: "A love story told in coffee shop recommendations:"


I can remember standing on tippy toes, peering over the counter just enough to be able to look down into my father's coffee mug. As he poured the cream into the deep brown, the white billows would rise up and swirl. Even before I learned to like the taste of coffee, I loved the aesthetic experience. It was a simple but romantic nightly ritual that my parents shared. My own enjoyment of coffee began in eighth grade with regular visits to Dietrich's (which sadly no longer exists outside of the keurig cup distribution). But the romance of the drink did not come for some time later.


I married a man who did not drink coffee. I brought my coffee maker into our marriage, but for years had to use it alone. Until one night, we had our friends, Faith and Erick, over to our place. As I made some coffee for the rest of us, Erick remarked with great shock at how Manny, a graduate student no less, wasn't drinking any with us. Manny is the last person to let peer pressure force his behavior. But when I mentioned to Erick how drinking coffee together was, in my mind, such a romantic ideal, Manny picked up on it, and resolved to learn to love coffee for my sake.


This 180 degree switch felt romantic enough to me. I felt heard and loved. But it was a switch that kept on giving, as coffee has facilitated so many romantic experiences for us since Manny's conversion. As students studying together for hours on end in cafe's, as parents finding the liquid strength to open our eyes to yet another day that comes too early, as two people in love relishing one another's company, Manny and I have greatly enjoyed exploring all the flavors and aromas of some good cups of joe.


Our caffeinated journey has taken us to several establishments that hold fond memories for us and perhaps some fun recommendations for YOU!


In Santa Barbara, there are a handful of cool coffee shops, but our hang out was always the Coffee Cat. Being pre-coffee-conversion for Manny, he always ordered the Calico Cat - a peanut buttery chocolately glass of goodness that they rarely ever actually had the ingredients for on hand.


In and around Berkeley, the coffee shop you frequent is an important part of your public identity. This was too much pressure for us, and also parking is a pain near campus, so we generally stayed off the beaten paths and just found our own humble little hang outs. 33 Revolutions, a record store/concert venue/cafe/coffee shop was one of our first favorites - great open atmosphere for studying - but it has since gone out of business, I'm sad to say.


Other shops where we spent hours upon hours reading, studying, and writing theses included:

• Tomate Cafe Great breakfast and lunch too!
• Buttercream Doesn't the name just make you want to go? The owner is beautifully invested in the local community of Albany, and you can feel it in the vide of the place. Delightful spot for a tea time treat!
• Blue Bottle Coffee Wanna feel cool in the Bay Area? Drink Blue Bottle Coffee. We enjoyed cups of Blue Bottle at the Ferry Building Farmers Market, but our most memorable romantic moment was at the Oakland cafe - one of our first coffee shop dates unencumbered by back packs and laptops - this was a treat we regret not partaking of more! 

One characteristic about San Diego that I adored was how often you could find public spaces where older men tended to congregate on a routine basis to hang out. It made me feel like I was in Italy, visiting the piazzas. Something about all the military bases being there perhaps. Anyways, Manny and I often found these men lounging around the coffee shops we frequented and I often had trouble focussing on my work of the day because I was so intrigued by ease dropping on the men chattering about their lives, politics, cars, weather, what have you. Not necessarily all old-men-hang-outs, but a couple of our favorite coffee places in San Diego were:

• Zumbar High quality coffee - love the hummingbird roast!
• The Living Room Yummy pastries, cozy atmosphere, ocean view [though just a sliver] - this was probably my favorite hang out spot in SD and the site of this precious moment. 

Now we're in Maine and trying to discover our new favorite coffee shops. So far we've thoroughly enjoyed the following spots and look forward to warming up at each of them throughout the long winters!

• Bohemian Coffee
• Little Dog
• Frontier Cafe 

What rituals do you find romantic, Lobsters? What are your favorite coffee hang outs? How many of you are concerned that I might have a caffeine addiction? 

Eating with Zoe: Long Distance Influence

My favorite part of Thanksgiving has always been the leftovers. Always. Tasty slabs of turkey meat, a 'lil mayo, canned cranberry sauce, and white bread. I look forward to that sandwich all year. On the years I do not get to partake in this sandwich, I get very very depressed. What is it about those few extra hours that make the Thanksgiving food so much more delightful?

Perhaps it is the release of all the pressure of the formal Thanksgiving Dinner. Once the food is just left overs, you can let your hair down, kick back, and just enjoy each other's company however you wish. Eat it standing at a kitchen counter, sprawled out on the floor while playing some games, curled up on the couch watchin' some football, whatever suits your fancy. It is casual, it is communal, it is comforting!

The first Thanksgiving I ever spent away from home was actually with Emily's family. I remember calling my mom that afternoon in a mini-crisis because eating at someone else's house necessarily meant I did not get my leftovers sandwich. Good thing her family had all these amazing, exotic family traditions that had me sufficiently enthralled to allow me to get too depressed over it all. You should ask her about her Thanksgiving family traditions, because that is a day when Emily Fazakerley shines in the kitchen like no other! Impressive!

When we lived in the Bay Area, we were friends with one of the coolest families on the planet. One of their many cool traits as a family is their amazing hospitality. Despite the great dinners and roaring parties we did get to enjoy with them, they had one annual tradition we always had to miss out on. Each year, on the day after Thanksgiving, they hosted a party where everyone could bring their left overs to share and hang out with friends. Buh-rillllliant!!! You get to enjoy hospitality AND the magic of Thanksgiving left overs all in one. I can hardly handle it.

After years of having to miss out on this party, we are missing out yet again, seeing as how we are on the opposite coast of the country. Blerg. BUT WAIT! Sometimes there are silver linings to long distance friendships like this. See, with them so far away, there is very little [zero] overlap in our social circles, THEREFORE! I have decided that it is NOT a social faux pas to totally steal their idea and host my own Thanksgiving leftovers party.  

Thus, the annual "Reyes Remainders Replay" is born (you know, cause my husband is a mathematician, get it? remainders? heh)! I can't wait. Even if no one shows up, I will have a grand festive time with my own family being in town, making a little extra hooplah over the leftovers this year. They may not exactly be mine to give, but nevertheless, I extend to you the rights to throw your own left overs party. Just please report back and let me know how it goes! 

Isn't it cool how even friends that are far away, whether or not I am faithfully in touch them, have touched my life in a moment and steered my path, even if only slightly?

Eating with Zoe #2

Recently, I've discussed my opportunity to try out the restaurants of a new town and how this has gotten me thinking about restaurants I'll miss in places I used to live. Last time I mentioned a few of my favorite Texas restaurants. Today, how about a few California spots. I lived both in Northern and Southern California, which some people might argue are separate states all together, so I'll group these eateries accordingly.

Bay Area, California (San Francisco, Berkeley, Oakland):

A) Khana Peena. While Goode Co. is the BBQ restaurant I measure all other BBQ by, Khana Peena is the Indian Restaurant I measure all other Indian restaurants by. Manny and used to refuse to eat Indian because it was unfamiliar and therefore scary. But our community group decided on Indian for a dinner get together once and brought take out into our apartment. We had no choice but to eat it [or starve I suppose, and like I've said, I like food, so that wasn't an option]. It is delicious. I've never eaten anything there I didn't love. And their lunch buffet is only $7, which includes a soda and naan - absolute steal! It converted Manny and I and has left us longing for something as good ever since. One of my favorite memories here was when Manny and I went in for the lunch buffet and saw three boys, about 11 years old, walk in with cash in their pockets and go to town on the buffet and soda. I was so impressed that young guys had such sophisticated taste that took me more than a couple decades to develop. I tried to sneak a picture of them through the window as we left, but they caught me and so I got this: 

B) Tomate Cafe. This is definitely a spot I find myself homesick for a lot lately. A quiet little cafe back in a Berkeley neighborhood, it has a mexican/earthy American sort of flare, free refills on coffee, and wi-fi. We used to love having breakfast here [we LOVE breakfast!] and hanging around working on papers until the lunch crowd started to trickle in.

C) Fenton's. Featured briefly in the movie, UP, this is an historic Oakland establishment. Old school ice cream parlor/diner. Yes, I did once order both an ice cream sundae AND fried mozzarella sticks in one visit [shout out to Ieesha!]. This made for a great special occasion spot, a bring-out-of-town-visitors-to spot, a late night hang out, and just a fun place to get some treats. I highly recommend their peanut butter fudge topping - I've never found anything that begins to compare.

Southern California (specifically Santa Barbara and San Diego):

I. Los Arroyos: I was first introduced to Los Arroyos when it was brand spankin' new and we used them to cater an event in my first full time job. The owner is a warm, kind man and the food is just simply amazing. With a couple locations around Santa Barbara, it's worth stretching the budget a little bit to enjoy a visit. La Superica is the foodie-Mexican spot in town, but I personally enjoy Los Arroyos so much more. Sorry to disagree with Julia Child.

II. Wired Cafe. Simple little French cafe with salads, paninis, pastries and the like. Service is slow, but the food is great. Another great study/work spot (I'm all about scoping out the free wi-fi!). Not super touristy or anything - just a nice little un-assuming lunch spot off the beaten path.

III. The Cottage. Ok, this one is a bit cliché. It is a huge tourist destination for La Jolla, but it is also frequented by locals because it is just too good and too cute. Based in a sunny craftsmen style house with a huge patio surrounded by a white picket fence, the Cottage is airy and bright and the food is phenomenal. Breakfast and lunch, I can attest to - dinner is a new addition that I didn't get a chance to check out before moving away. Pout. After Sofia started having a regular - EARLY - bedtime, this became our special occasion destination because at least we could always count on being up super early and ready to eat a nice meal in the mornings!

Really, this is just an initial smattering of some restaurants I enjoy. I doubt many of these are making hip and trendy magazine profiles these days, but I love, miss, and recommend them! Have you been to any of these Lobsters? Any other recommendations in these areas? What is your favorite restaurant to miss from far away?

Eating With Zoe

Have I mentioned that I like to eat? Cause I like to eat. Perhaps you've enjoyed the little "Cooking with Zoe" posts I've done in the past. Today, I'm thinking about the places I like to go where other people cook for me. I mostly cook at home, so eating out is a special treat. Whenever we have seasons where we get a little more breathing room in our budget, the eating out category is the first to find some elbow room. We've just moved to a new town with new restaurants to explore.

We were so excited this weekend to find our first restaurant-we-love in Maine, Shere Punjab. Chicken Tikka Masala and Lamb Curry - our signature Indian restaurant orders - were almost too spicy for me to handle, but so worth the heat. We were the ONLY people in the restaurant through our whole meal, despite the town being packed for an arts festival. We couldn't understand why no one else was in there, but we enjoyed the space, quiet, and service!

This has me thinking about all the cities I've lived in and the restaurants I miss. I have woken up several mornings knowing I'm home sick because I start to look forward to going to one restaurant or another as the weekend approaches, problem is, those restaurants are in other parts of the country now. BUT! perhaps you live in these cities, perhaps you will visit them sometime, or perhaps you share my longings for restaurants now inaccessible to you. I happen to like quite a few restaurants, so in order not to overwhelm you, I'll break this up into a scattered little series. If you're ever in my old stomping grounds and need a recommendation, please consider a few of Zoe's [a non-foodie food lover] faves. [note: if you are one of these restaurants or would like to become one of these restaurants, yes I will consider writing for food ;) ]

To begin, let us consider Houston, Texas, my home town. A visit here might earn you the consolation prize of a nice night/morning/day out to eat. Here are some of my top choices:

#1: Goode Company BBQ. ["Goode Co."] This is the standard against which I judge ALL barbeque in the world. This is what Texas barbeque means to me. Smoky, tasty, melt in your mouth goodness. This is where my dad would take me for our lunch break in the middle of a hot, sweaty day working in the yard. We'd sit out on their porch at the picnic tables, letting the fans and root bear transform our dripping foreheads into cool relaxation. For both sentimental and gustatorial reasons, this is probably my favorite restaurant in the world.

#2: Amazon/America's/Artista/Churasco's. I don't visit too many towns with South American food options, but was spoiled growing up with this family of restaurants. I was also spoiled by the fact that my father did their food photography, so we often got to eat there for free. Fried plantain chips, chimichurri sauce, churasco steak. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. This was where my dad took me on my birthday daddy-daughter dates growing up, this is where Manny and I had our engagement party, and it's always on my list for must-visit when I'm in town.

#3: Hobbit Hole. Love Tolkein? Love earthy food? Love to feel so full you might burst without even having to eat second breakfast and elevensies? Never before has a themed-restaurant been so non-cheesy and super-yummy at the same time. Their onion rings are killer [though, perhaps a meal in themselves] and a wonderful proportion of their menu includes almost overwhelming gobs of avocado [as if there could be any such thing as too much avocado! hence the word "almost"]. It is also tucked away from any main streets, so you have the perk of eating at a "hole" in the wall of sorts ;). When you eat here, you can feel gluttonous, but so literary and brilliant at the same time.

Hmmm . . . as I read over this I'm realizing there is a theme of emotional ties related to my father with these restaurants [the Hobbit Hole was one of our favorite lunch spots in the middle of a business day whenever I worked at his studio]. My mother was such a gourmet in the kitchen, I guess he cornered the restaurant market in my emotions. 

Ok, I feel like I put on a few thousand calories just thinking about these places. Houston is not a great town to go to if you are on a diet - except for the fact that you'll look around and most likely feel like the skinny one, so that can be encouraging. We'll save some more drooling for another day. In the mean time - please chime in! If our readers are visiting Houston, where do YOU think they should grab a bite to eat?