my love/hate relationship with camping.

I can't decide if I like camping or not, and for some reason that ambiguity is bothering me. I went camping last weekend for my friend Shep's birthday, so I'm prepared to make a pro/con list while the experience is fresh in my mind.  


Why I dislike camping: 
1. Bugs. I could probably soak myself in bug spray and the suckers would still attack me. I came away from this weekend with approximately 15 bites, two of which were on my face, which surprised me for some reason. Like those mosquitoes had violated the unwritten code that the face is off limits. And if someone comments that they like me because I'm so sweet, please know that I will hunt you down, jab you with something small and painful, and ask how sweet you think I am now.
2. The supplies. Perhaps this wouldn't bother me if I went camping for more than a couple of days at a time, but I always feel stressed out and irked when we have to take an entire car full of supplies to go somewhere overnight. It makes it feel like more of a hassle than it should be.
3. Cooking. It's messy, it takes ages, and the food doesn't taste that great.
4. The dirt. Nature can really just get all over you. I am a complete wuss when it comes to being dirty. I can't handle it.
5. The cold. I am always ill-prepared for the cold. I end up awake half the night, curled in a ball, freezing and loathing life. Or, in last weekend's case, awake half the night, curled around my baby in the sleeping bag, praying that I won't fall asleep and suffocate her.

Proof of survival.

Why I like camping:
1. The time warp. What time is it? Who cares! Time simultaneously flies and stands still. I can't explain camping time, but I do love it.

Heidi was an excellent camper.

2. The fire. There's something magical about sitting by a camp fire with friends, talking about nothing and laughing about everything until wee hours.
3. The wine. It's always delicious, and it's extra relaxing to drink by that fire. 
4. Cooking. It's messy, it takes ages, and the food doesn't taste that great in reality, but since it takes ages to make and I'm generally starving by the time it's ready, it kind of tastes amazing. And there's a sense of accomplishment when one makes a real meal over a rustic fire.

Chefs Shep and Chris.

5. Tents. Hanging out in a tent is super relaxing and also makes me feel like I'm five and playing in a fort I've created or something. Plus I love the way the breeze sounds in there. Lovely.
6. Games. We didn't get a chance to play any games at last weekend's camping trip, but games are usually a camping staple. Dominoes or cards for hours on end. 
7. The dirt. All that dirt makes for the most incredible shower experience when I get home. Oh man. So great. 


And camping wins by a nose! 

Reader Request: Bugs and the Things That Bug in Virginia

This request comes from my Uncle Tom. Hi, Tom! 


Bugs in Virginia:
1. I recently had a cicada the size of my husband's thumb hanging out on Eiley's nursery window. Luckily it was outside. It seemed to have some kind of fur, which added to its creepy factor. 

Horrifying.

2. Buster and I saw two giant spiderwebs and two giant spiders on the tree outside our apartment on a walk last week. Terrifying. (Okay, the webs were kind of beautiful.) 
3. Apparently Jeff walked into one of those spiderwebs a couple of days ago. I am still thanking the Lord that one of those spiders didn't land on him.
4. I went to a grassy area behind my apartment on Friday to toss the ball for Buster. I came inside after approximately five minutes with three welts. Vicious bugs.
5. I went to the Norfolk Botanical Gardens on Saturday. I imagined an idyllic afternoon, pushing my beautiful daughter through the pristine gardens, then sitting on a bench near the fountains to scribble my thoughts into a notebook. I sat on one bench and was promptly bitten twice. I moved to a different bench, across the park, and an unidentifiable bug which seemed to have ill intentions hovered near Eiley's face. She was napping and thus defenseless, so we left. It was too hot there anyway.


Things That Bug in Virginia:
1. Bugs. See above.
2. The DMV.
3. The weather. It's hot and humid for 5 and a half months of the year, frigid for five and a half months of the year, and bearable for a few weeks. I'd say there are about seven days of perfection. (Sidenote: Having poor weather all the time does not make me appreciate nice weather more. I lived most of my life in California, and I always noticed the blue skies, cool breeze, mild warmth from the sun. And when I move back in approximately nine months, I will continue to appreciate that beautiful weather. I will daily say, "Weather, you are beautiful. I love you. Those people in Virginia are suckahs.")
4. The natural disasters. Dismal Swamp Wildfire, a little earthquake, and Hurricane Irene, all in a week. I survived Virginia 2011!
5. The drivers. This is a military town, so most people are coming from different states with their own state's way of driving. It's a mess. 
6. The lack of a good beach. There's just something off about the beaches here. Perhaps it's that the sun doesn't set over the water. Or simply that I'm not close enough to the beach to bike to it. Or perhaps it's that the one time I went in the water here, I was attacked by tiny stinging sea creatures. (Also in this category: The complete lack of Disneyland.)
7. The ghettoness. Okay, I suppose there is ghettoness everywhere, not just Virginia. But really, why do people do stuff like this: 

That is all. Thanks for asking me to complain, Tom. That was cathartic.