Once upon a time when I was a grad student, I had an hour long commute to campus, which means I listened to a whole bunch of NPR and PRI and APM. Therefore, I heard more than a handful of radio spots interviewing Paul Tough about his book, Whatever it Takes about Geoffrey Canada and the Harlem Children's Zone (HCZ). I was in the middle of a degree in Social Work, a field committed to people in poverty, working in a public school after already having spent years working in educational nonprofits. I had to read the book. When my friend Emily [different Emily from my co-blogger, guess I have a thing for gals with that name!] told me she was starting to read it, I actually went out, bought it, and read it for real, instead of just dreaming of reading it some day like I do with most books I hear about and "have to read." Emily and I were so excited by the book. It is so well written, gives such a fascinating and insightful history and investigation into issues of poverty and education, and tells the story of Canada and the HCZ with both inspiration and critical evaluation. We both began to dream of a day when we could be social workers in an agency like the HCZ that integrated all the resources children would need from prenatal to college years in order to succeed.. . . And then we graduated, and I moved, and I had a baby, and I moved again, and now I live in a very different environment from Oakland, California. I'm still finding ways to try to stay engaged in this work in my new environment with its own unique needs and challenges and strengths, but obviously, my activities and priorities have had to shift and adapt. Now, my top priority, as far as vocation is concerned, is being Sofia's mom. And I'm really satisfied in that right now. But even in being Sofia's mom, I still bring the same mind and curiosity and passion to the table that I was cultivating as a social worker. Around the same time I was getting obsessed with Tough and Canada and the HCZ actually, I was also learning about Attachment Theory for the first time, and cultivating a parallel obsession. [for more on that, check out my post Becoming Attached] Turns out that little obsession has been incredibly relevant and useful as I have been growing into parenthood.
Skip forward to last week, here in my little college town, where there was a conference put on by the Political Science department about parenting and what it takes to help children succeed. Certainly a relevant topic for me in general, but when I looked at the line up and saw that Paul Tough [author of Whatever it Takes, if you didn't catch that] was the keynote speaker, I might or might not have yelped out loud and immediately forgotten that there was any other reason to participate. A little shout out here to my awesome husband who not only alerted me to this opportunity, but then also watched Sofia so I could attend. Thank you, Husband!
So there I was in the auditorium, catching up with a friend from a book group, and there was Paul Tough, a few feet away, and I was a little bit star struck people! I hadn't even paid attention to what he was going to be speaking on, I was just there because he was there. Though, this was the third college talk I'd gone to by a somewhat famous person in as many months, and I'd been having somewhat mixed experiences, so I tried to temper my excitement.
He gave a quick synopsis of his work on his first book but quickly moved onto his new project and book, How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character
, coming out in September [yes, I have already pre-ordered it!]. But real quick, I just have to mention, he has an awesome Canadian accent, because he's from Canada, and his big success was writing about a guy whose last name is Canada. cool. Anyways, turns out, in the span of time from when I read his first book to now, he has also had a child. And he has also started to shift his priorities and concerns accordingly. Long story short, as he investigated what factors lead to children's success, he found the answers in Attachment Theory. Wah!?! Awesome! Parallel obsessions collide! During the time for questions and answers, my mind was brimming with so many things I would have loved to have asked or said, but I was just too excited and nervous to raise my hand. Several fellow audience members did ask really good questions though, and I found his responses maybe even more fascinating than the talk itself. But some questions were far enough off of what he'd spent time researching that he gracefully explained he did not have all the answers for them. Thing is, I actually did have some responses to offer. Again, Wah?!? Pregnancy and mothering have not entirely wiped out my brains! Score! That day was full of surprises.
So somehow, at the end of the talk, probably because not a single soul was approaching him, I pushed passed the thumping terror in my chest and went up to him to say thanks. I even got to talk to him about one of my favorite ever research studies, Emmy Werner's work on Resilience. He even asked me to write it down so he could check it out later! Looking back on it, he may have just been a really polished, smooth presenter and experienced interviewer who knows how to make people feel interesting and listened to even if he can't wait to get them out of his way. But, whatever, I left there feeling like I was on Cloud Nine. I wonder if that was what it was like when Emily got a kiss from Jimmy Fallon?
Well that's my story. It was so fun, and I'm so excited for his new book. Have you read his work, Lobsters? Any other Attachment-groupies out there?
P.S. the audio from his talk is now available here if you'd like to hear it for yourself.
its a great guilt reliever as you stress out about how to do everything right, because it has two mom's talking about their different styles of parenting and supporting each others' different choices. We need so much more of this! We all divide up into our groups according to working-moms vs. stay-at-home-moms vs. work-at-home-moms, or breast feeding vs. formula, or what have you. This book gave me a sense that we all have a common enemy and that we should be supporting one another instead of tearing each other down.