are you smarter than a dachshund, eiley?

Heidi, Aunt Tab's dachshund, is two weeks younger than Eiley. Heidi knows her name, and Eiley does not know her name, so Aunt Tab has jumped to the conclusion that her puppy is smarter than my baby. I will now prove that theory wrong.


Reasons Eiley is smarter than Heidi:


1. Eiley leaves her clothes and socks on. Heidi takes her clothes and shoes off almost immediately after Tab has wrangled them on.
2. Heidi occasionally pees on the floor. Eiley always uses her diaper.
3. Eiley smiles when we smile or sing or when she's getting changed or bathed (the kid likes to be naked, what can I say?). Heidi smiles at random times. There's no rhyme or reason. She's ridiculous.
4. Heidi can sit and shake hands. Eiley can almost fit her entire fist in her mouth. Okay, maybe this is a point for Heidi.

5. Heidi barks unintelligibly. Eiley coos and you can totally tell she's communicating deep, intellectual thoughts. It's not her fault we don't fully comprehend her brilliance yet.
6. Heidi can barely walk on a leash. Eiley can go for a walk in her stroller perfectly.
7. Heidi sleeps on Tab's head. Eiley sleeps in her own crib.


In conclusion, Eiley is smarter than Heidi. Plus she'll truly know her name soon, where Heidi will probably answer to Tidy. 

Reader Topic Request: Prostate Health

Today's Request comes to us from Mrs. Monica Thelin, an old friend of mine from the church where I grew up. She is super creative and artistic, so I was a little surprised when she requested a blog on prostate health. Yeah, okay, she was probably joking, but I did guarantee I'd write about the first three requests I received and this was the third, so here we go:


My good friend Arabella recently graduated from Regent with her MFA in Acting. To celebrate this educational victory, her parents gave her the greatest gift of all - a puppy! (Wait. The greatest gift of all is salvation. Puppies are just a close second.) Arab decided on an Isabella tan dachshund, half because they're cute and half because they kind of look like Harry Potter's house elf, Dobby. Initially she wanted a Boston Terrier, which I think looks like a seal, so apparently Arabella just likes dogs that look like other creatures. She picked the puppy up from a breeder in Alabama on Monday. 


Lobsters, meet Heidi:

Heart...warmed.

Heidi came with an official clean bill of health; therefore this, my friends, is one healthy weiner!

And now, a short film...

So Eiley Thinks She Can Dance
Directed, Edited, and Written by Aunt Tab
Starring Eiley Grace and her baby straitjacket
Supervised by Emily Grace