Reader Request: Zoe's (not-so-secret) Garden (Part I)

My dear friend, and college cottage-mate, Erin, requested that I share an update on my garden. Gardening is one of the great thrills to my heart right now, Sofia and I can hardly force ourselves to stay indoors long enough to rest and refuel - even on rainy days, so I'm more than happy to oblige! 


Part I: Discovery 


I live in a house that has been a rental for some years. Our neighbors across the street have told me stories of how there used to be a fabulous garden in the back. You can see from the picture below that through a series of uninvested caretakers, what was once fabulous is now an overgrown wasteland of decaying confusion. BUT! I view that overgrowth as an exciting challenge.

view of the overgrowth from inside

My yard is surrounded by a fence that does absolutely nothing to conceal it from the heavy foot traffic that passes by, so while I feel the excitement Mary and Dickon must have had as they discovered  The Secret Garden, my garden is not so secret. And in fact, I feel a bit of extra pressure knowing that people are both watching my work and observing its results (especially the above mentioned neighbors, who themselves nurture one of the most famous and beautiful gardens in town). I try to focus on the fact that this is really my first garden, and its not even really mine, and whatever effort I put in will alleviate a visual blight of the untended overgrowth.


One month ago, I came home to this house after our Vermont trip and saw no signs of life, only opportunities for me to plant. But with each round of raking and weeding, I seem to unearth a whole new batch of colors and smells. I initially entered the garden with my own agenda, but clearly it has a life of its own. And again, I'm just getting things out of the way so the life can come forth. This winter's dead leaves layered on years upon years worth of debris that fell in the very same place blanket small little leaves, vines and stalks beginning to shoot up. Now, the yard is just bursting with eager production. 

yummy chives we snack on while we work

sunny flowers

How interesting that this gardening experience would play out in this way. I entered college such a planner. Erin, you may remember me sitting in our Cottage living room at my desk, scribbling away all my dreams and goals for my future and my deadlines for when they would all be realized. I was unexpectedly graduating a year early, and having had my life figured out ahead of time up until that point, I was in crunch mode to figure out the next ten-year plan. But ever since that season, I've been hitting curve balls. Early graduation, marrying a mathematician, not returning to Texas after school, move after move after move, winding up in Maine of all places? 


And I love my life. I can't imagine I could have planned it out any better from that Cottage desk than how it has actually taken shape. Sure, I wish our families were closer and that we had access to better Mexican food, but generally, this is great. And this has been the result of letting go of some control and instead, responding to the invitations God has presented for my life path. This is the hard but fruitful journey of faith.


I think that year in the Cottage, God was only just beginning to teach me that lesson, of letting go control, and stepping into the unknown. Having Sofia has certainly taken that lesson to the next level. I don't know what I expected out of motherhood, but I remember those first few months of her life, thinking to myself by about mid-day, "Wow, there is a new person calling the shots!" Responding to and shaping our days around her needs is so counter-intuitive to how I operate and it is so hard for me every single day, but it seems like its yielding results, so I keep humbling myself to someone else's plan for my days. I get myself out of the way so the natural little buds cropping up in her can open up and shine. 


I'll keep you posted on how it all develops . . .