poorly written movie moments: part three

This movie moment comes from my sister, Sissy. You may call her JennaBoyd. 

I have been a teacher with SECEP in a classroom for kids with Emotional Disturbance for the past three months. There are only three girls in there, which doesn't sound like a lot, unless you've actually met them. I'll call them Cupcake, Cookie, and Sugar. These three little girls are more difficult to singlehandedly work with than 18 preschoolers because they:

- Throw classroom items and shoes

- Climb on shelves, tables, and chairs

- Bite themselves and others

- Push items off of the shelves and tables

- Tear down anything that's posted on the classroom bulletin board

- Lay down in the school hallway and refuse to get up (about 20% of the time and only with one of the girls, but it's still a pain when it happens).

- Pull on their clothes and won't let go

- Scratch

- Pinch and won't let go

- Pull hair

- Run away if you're not holding their hand

- Poke people in the eye

- Kick people

- Spit in people's faces

With that background information, here's what happened last Thursday:

              My teaching assistant (who is amazing, by the way, and has been nominated as Teacher's Assistant of the Year) had called out sick that day and I didn't realize that until about 8:25 when she still hadn't shown up for work. I called the office to make sure that we were going to have a sub. They said they had sent one, but that she was probably going to be a little late. This meant that I was going to need to get all three of the girls. This wouldn't be a big deal, except for the fact that I only have two hands and you just read about what the girls do. Anyway, I got Cupcake off the bus as I do every morning, then we went to get Cookie and Sugar from their buses. I held onto Cupcake with my left hand and had both Sugar's and Cookie's hands in my right hand while we walked down the hall, and I prayed harder than I ever have before. We made it back to class without a problem and I was able to breathe again.

That day, our internet wasn't working. This wouldn't be a big deal, except for the fact that the majority of the things that the girls enjoy are on there. There are songs, nursery rhymes, and cartoons that they love to sing along with and watch.

The sub got there about 10 minutes later... with laryngitis. I found out later in the day that it was also her second day subbing for SECEP. She did a great job, but I still felt terrible for her.

Our reading specialist was supposed to observe me teaching a reading lesson that day, but Cupcake took that time to do almost everything I had listed above. On the bright side, the reading specialist took pity on me, didn't do her observation, and is currently working on materials to get the kids more excited about learning.

The rest of the day was spent with all three girls running around the classroom when they weren't supposed to, Sugar poking Cookie in the eye, Cookie nearly running into the street because she escaped from the playground before we could get to her, and Cupcake trying to throw things and bite herself.

During all of this, I kept thinking that I felt like I was watching everything go wrong for a teacher in a movie. Only it was my own real life. On that day, I was very happy when 3pm came around.


(I'm guessing she went home and did this:)

Juuuust kidding. That's sparkling apple cider. 

poorly written movie moments: part two

A husband and wife relax on a couch, exhausted after a day of travel. Their newborn flails and coos on the couch next to them, surrounded by her adoring great-grandmother, great-aunt, great-grandfather, and second cousin. The husband and wife close their eyes, just as baby's grandfather starts to play his guitar and grandmother sings a worship song. 

Hallmark movie? Lifetime? OWN? No, no, no. This little scene happened on Thanksgiving Day when everyone was meeting Eiley for the first time. I actually sat there thinking about how cheesy the whole scene was. How I would gag if I saw this in a Christian film. How my sister and I would mock it all. How Kirk Cameron should really be in the room, fawning over the baby with my grandma and singing with my mom. 


I might have teared up just a little bit because it also happened to be a completely genuine moment. And hey, I was jet lagged. Shut up about it.

poorly written movie moments: part one

A young man boards a packed airplane on his way home for Thanksgiving, and right before the plane is scheduled to take off, a beautiful young woman sits down in his row. There's an empty seat between them, even though the flight is supposedly sold out. They start chatting and find that they have a lot in common, including their strong faith, the fact that they live in the southeast and are moving to Orange County in a couple of weeks, and countless other small things. They find out that the plane is delayed by hours, and the pilot invites everyone to exit the plane to get food. They go together. 


Nine hours later, they are both in Orange County and in love. One flight attendant says that in her 25 years at the job, she's never seen such an instant and powerful connection between strangers. When they get home, he takes her to meet his family, then she takes him to her family. They profess love and a desire to marry. All within five days.


Gag me, right? If I saw this in a movie, I would think the writers were lazy and idiotic. But this is totally what happened to the guy who was sitting next to us on our flight home from California. He talked about how his family would usually be skeptical about something like this, but they were completely on board when they met her. He told us that just three days before meeting her, he was on his knees before God, expressing his strong desire to have a wife, questioning when he'd meet her, wishing for a sign that God was listening. Amazing.


Life is truly sometimes cheesier than fiction. More examples to come from my own life, and I'd love to know if you have any too, Lobsters.