the pursuit of being nice

I try to be nice. All the time. Partly because I think that's the easiest way to show God's love to others, but mostly because meanness is ugly. For example, last week I was driving to school with Eiley in the backseat. I was in a bit of a rush, but you'd be amazed at how grandmotherly I can drive with that baby in the car. No risks are taken, people. That's why I was shocked when, after pulling out in front of a car that was approximately a quarter of a mile away, the car sped up next to me and the driver honked her horn, flipped me the bird and made a really ugly face. She seriously looked like a mean suburban witch being played by a bad actress on a Disney Channel show. It was surreal. I couldn't help but notice that she might be pretty if she weren't contorting her face and finger like that. 


But I can't complain too much because I've probably uglified myself in a similar manner countless times. (Sidenote: I'm just referring to being mean. I can only recall flipping someone off once. Sorry, Chris McGovern in the eighth grade!) I know my mean comes out when people speak to me in a condescending tone. Or when students I speak to are significantly less than brilliant and I lose my patience (then I become rudely condescending). Or when my papers are being rejected at the DMV for the sixth time. Or when Chris McGovern called me a name in the eighth grade. I can think of way too many examples of when I'm mean. This is starting to get depressing.

I will cut you.

Something that helps me improve my nice is to give people the benefit of the doubt. Examples:
1. If a waiter messes up my order, maybe it was the cook that actually messed it up. Or maybe the waiter misheard me in the first place by accident. Or maybe they are distracted because their beloved pet fish just passed away. Without knowing, it's easiest just to be nice instead of blaming them. 
2. If I get cut off in traffic, maybe the person didn't see my car and I should just be grateful we didn't collide. Or maybe they did see me at the last second and they feel terrible that they accidentally cut me off. Or maybe they were distracted by a crying baby in their backseat. These have all happened to me, so I know they're possible explanations.
3. If a checker is taking twelve years to bag groceries at the market, maybe they have been bagging all day and are exhausted. Or maybe they have a bad back. Or maybe they are distracted because their beloved pet fish just passed away. Genuinely asking how they are doing can help pass the time. And if it's not awkward, helping them bag your groceries can also help pass the time.


In conclusion, be nice. 


What brings out your mean? Any ideas of how to be nicer? Who do you think of when you hear the word "nice," and why do they come to mind?